Building and Burning
by ITookThisName
Summary: BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad Ryuusuke wants to get back to how things were before the band almost broke up at Grateful Sound. Everything seems to be falling in place, except for one thing. Ryuusuke x Taira
1. I Know That We Don't Talk

**Building and Burning**

**Chapter One [I Know That We Don't Talk, I'm Sick Of It All**

"Hey, Koyuki!" Ryuusuke called out, spotting the timid seventeen year old amongst the throng of people crowding the street. Koyuki stopped in his tracks and turned, spotted and waved at Ryuusuke. He waited for his bandmate to catch up with him before continuing the walk to the studio where Beck's practices took place. They walked in silence, the crowd buzzing with conversation around them. Koyuki tried to think of something- anything, really- to say. Ryuusuke on the other hand was desperately trying not to over think. This practice was the first real one since the band accidentally caught up with him in Seattle. His assessment of the situation he had gotten himself into was really only centered around one person, and he had went through the trouble of composing a pro's and con's list (something his sister had suggested). Before he had crumpled it up and whipped it at the wall in frustration, it looked a little like this:

PROS  
-Beck was back together  
-as of yesterday Taira had started talking to him  
-as far as he knew, Taira was still single

CONS

-Taira stillwasn't looking at him

-Taira was only talking to him using one-syllable words

That was about the point where he had proclaimed pro's and con's lists to be completely and utterly useless, his main complaint being that they underrated your problems. When he explained this to Maho, all he got in return was a puzzled look. Ryuusuke was sure there was more- it certainly felt like it. Perhaps that had to do with the fact that Ryuusuke knew why the bleach blond bassist was pissed. This fact only made him more frustrated, as well as angry at himself for being such an idiot. It was painfully obvious that it all had to do with fucking each other's brains out the night before their Grateful Sound show and his asshole move of telling Chiba that maybe he didn't belong in Beck. Ryuusuke was suddenly aware of Koyuki talking to him. He managed to catch the last words of an obviously important (from the serious look he was being given) question. Really, the only reason Ryuusuke had noticed Koyuki had spoke was from the name that rolled off his tongue.

"-and Taira?"

Ryuusuke gave his bandmate a rare wide-eyed look of surprise, his dark blue eyes the colour of the smooth blue bottle glass one might find on the beach. They focused on the teen intently.

"Huh?"

"I asked if everything was alright between you and Taira."

The kid was a flippin' mind reader.

"I-I usually don't ask about these things but... You guys haven't been talking to each other for a while now..."

Ryuusuke didn't know to whether to yell at Koyuki or ask him for help. Maho always made a big production of how much Koyuki helped her with problems, but Ryuusuke wasn't going to risk anything based on his sister's opinion. At least on problem solving. The pro's and con's list he had constructed just twenty minutes ago still irked him.

Luckily, Ryuusuke was saved from having to do anything by their arrival at the studio. Ryuusuke half-consciously took a deep breath before entering.

The practice was going pretty well. There had been limited conversation between Ryuusuke and Taira. Not that "I decided to go with this note instead of this note here" exactly counted. Ryuusuke still wasn't allowed to look into Taira's captivating chocolate brown eyes as the blond cleverly avoided every attempt Ryuusuke made to make eye contact. Chiba, uncaring and unscathed by Ryuusuke's woes and their focal point, came up with a new song. They experimented with the song until Chiba declared, "Alright, dudes, I think it's high time for a break."

"Sounds good," Saku agreed, wiping sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, still clutching his drumsticks.

"Mhm," Taira murmured his agreement, putting down his Stingray. Ryuusuke knew that he should look away, or at least not blatantly stare as Taira made a start to remove his shirt, something he did quite frequently when playing guitar. The band was used to it by now. However, that didn't mean Ryuusuke couldn't help going slack-jawed over Taira's well-formed torso; he knew the bassist love showing off. Taira lifted the hem of his dark grey t-shirt, catching Ryuusuke's lingering gaze halfway through. Expressionless, he paused for a moment before letting go and settling for wiping his face with the bottom of his shirt instead. Ryuusuke tore his gaze away, suddenly becoming quite interested in fine-tuning his Stratocaster as he clenched his teeth, attempting to play the same role as his other bandmates, who were unaffected. 'Whatever,' Ryuusuke thought bitterly. It'd been almost a year and half since Grateful Sound, and Ryuusuke hadn't thought about anyone one else, or been with anyone else, since the night before they nearly didn't play the show and everything almost went to Hell in a hand basket. It felt like the trip had only been postponed these days, at least for him.

'Maybe I'm being too hard on him,' a sympathetic part of Taira's mind mused. 'Sure he left without so much as a wave goodbye after not to mention he didn't give me any notice or anything-' Taira ceased his inner rant and reasoned with himself. The leaving had upset him, even though he had done a fair job at convincing himself that it had happened so often he shouldn't let it affect him. He was usually very good at it, but Ryuusuke had done something to him, even before they crossed the lines of "just friends". It'd been so since- Taira kept himself away from those thoughts, especially when he was supposed to be mad at Ryuusuke, who's shoulder length inky black hair beckoned Taira's itching fingers. Lately, his anger was starting to feel...pointless, in a way, as the band fell into their familiar routine of scrounging for money through minimum wage jobs and finding a way to get heard. He threw a longing glance at Ryuusuke as the skilled guitarist conversed with Saku and Koyuki.

"Alright guys, let's start up again," Ryuusuke announced, adjusting his guitar. "Koyuki, we haven't done 'Slippin' Out' in while, you up for it?"

Two hours later, they had made their way to the usual haunt and were discussing a proposition of another tour, this time in Japan.

"C'mon guys! It'll be awesome! I don't even know why we're discussing it!" Chiba told them, loud with excitement. The rambunctious young man wiggled in his seat, doing a sort of retarded happy dance.

"Well we're a bit low of funds, but we should be able to remedy that. Plus, it's a national tour, so it's not like we're going out of the country, like back to the U.S.A.," Saku commented, cupping his chin in a classic thinking pose. Chiba made a mournful face and moaned. "If only we were...good times..." He put an arm around Taira, who was sandwiched between him and Saku. "Do you remember those hot Canadian chicks we met in New York? I tell you man, next tour overseas, we're going to CAN-A-DUH!"

Taira smiled, but it wasn't unguarded. Ryuusuke could tell he was still bothered. He figured it wasn't worth the effort trying to pry it out of the bassist though. When Taira wanted you to know something, he'd find a way to tell you. And when he didn't...well, it remained unknown. This was a quality Ryuusuke found strangely endearing. Taira was so mysterious, so uncharted, so... talking. Ryuusuke became all ears as Taira spoke. "This could end up being another huge stepping stone in our careers, guys. We should give it some more thought, make sure we want this." There was a serious tone to his voice, replacing his usually mellow tone as he and Ryuusuke made eye contact. Like every other time Taira made a serious statement, Ryuusuke got the message loud and clear. 'Make sure we want this'...the words echoed in his head and Ryuusuke got the meaning almost instantly. Memories of hair that smelt of vanilla and coloured similarly cast in a dim light flashed vividly through his mind, as did recollections of fiercely whispered promises, which were now mostly broken. 'Can promises be fixed?' Ryuusuke thought, almost wistfully. His deep blue eyes flickered down to look at his food. Taira knew he had struck a chord within Ryuusuke, but didn't receive much satisfaction with the knowledge that he'd gotten through to the cool guitarist.

"Damn- see you later guys, I've got the night shift tonight," Saku announced, sliding out of the booth they were seated in as Chiba and Taira stood so he could get out- a movement that had taken much practice to perform as smoothly as they did.

"Ah, that probably means I should be leaving too," Koyuki looked at Maho and Ryuusuke as they reluctantly got up so he could also leave.

"I'll walk with you, okay?" Maho told him, as Koyuki nodded. "'Night, guys," Maho told them, clasping Koyuki's hand.

"Oh hey, Saku. What time are you getting in?" Taira asked, seemingly innocent enough.

'That's right,' Ryuusuke remembered. Saku was living with Taira until he could afford a place of his own.

"Around one," Saku answered, "so don't go bashing me on the head with your guitar if you decide to sleep on the couch. And when I say sleep read: pass out," Saku smirked. Taira still hadn't gotten used to sharing an apartment, resulting in somewhat violent situations when he was drunk and mistook Saku for a burglar, albeit a burglar with a key. Taira scrunched up his features in mock displeasure. "Just get out of here already, you miscreant."

After the three "youngin's"- as Chiba frequently labelled them- had left, Chiba announced, "and then there were three," taking a swig of beer. "Who uses the word 'miscreant' anyways?"

Ryuusuke, knowing that answering that question would most likely result in some sort of one-sided argument, decided to risk talking to Taira. "So, how's the living-with-Saku experience going?" Ryuusuke offered a hesitant smile as he slowly looked up from his drink. He didn't want this awkward animosity to go on forever.

Chiba watched and tried to look only mildly interested in contrast to his burning desire to know what was going to happen next. Taira had told him about Grateful Sound, but he still didn't get it. He saw two fine-looking girls look over the blonde's way and smile flirtatiously. His gaze turned back to Taira, who's eyes were glued on the blue eyed guitarist in front of him. Chiba inwardly groaned. 'Why, God, why? Why give Taira all the power with the ladies and not me? He doesn't even like women!' As Chiba pouted and called for another beer, Taira finally responded.

"It sounds like a TV show when you say it like that," Taira grinned slightly. "It's actually been great. We've been talking about just splitting rent instead of having him move out. It gets rid of a lot of trouble, like finding a decent place, moving...you know. Plus, it's kind of nice just having someone there." He took a drink of his beer, a mischievous glint to his eyes. Ryuusuke felt a pang of jealousy as he simultaneously noted that almost every move Taira made was intentional.

"That's cool. You'll definitely have more spending money." Ryuusuke was determined to keep his cool facade.

Taira nodded, and added, "but I already know it'll be awkward be when we bring people home. Thankfully Saku hangs out at his girlfriend's place."

Ryuusuke wondered if that was code for 'there hasn't been anyone since you' but didn't want to get his hopes up. He wanted to ask, but knew it would be out of line, especially in front of Chiba. And especially because he really had no idea where he was with Taira at the moment. It was kind of a purgatory, but at least he was closer to where he'd been, to the way they were.

"Why does he always get like this?" Taira asked, referring to the inebriated Chiba he and Ryuusuke were supporting by the arms as he stumbled along, mumbling incoherently. The question was unanswerable of course, but Ryuusuke felt the need to reply anyway. "I don't know," he grunted as he shifted Chiba's arm into a better position on his shoulder. He blinked repeatedly, trying to decipher whether or not they were walking in a straight line. It was hard to tell with the combination of alcohol in his system and the orange glow of the streetlights spilling onto the pavement.

Taira leaned against the door of Chiba's apartment after he had closed it, closing his eyes. "I'm so glad Chiba lives close to the tavern." Ryuusuke smirked as they left the building.

"Isn't that why we chose it in the first place?" They both laughed. After the laughter subsided, they walked in a comfortable silence, hands in pockets.

"Ryuusuke?"

"Yeah?"

I'm sorry." Taira told him, looking up at the night sky; only a few stars were visible since they were in the city. Still, the few were beautiful.

"For what?"

'For being such an asshole ever since we met up with you in Seattle. It's just that what happened at Grateful Sound... and then you just left- I was confused more than anything."

"You were never an asshole. Distant, yes. I left because I didn't want to drag Beck down with me," Ryuusuke told him, sounding regretful. "You guys would've been killed."

Taira didn't look surprised. "I kinda figured that out... I mean Leon Sykes, what were you-" Taira stopped himself, biting his lip to keep the words from spilling out. A moment passed before he continued, "I wish I could've gone with you. It was strange not having you around."

"Beck would've never recovered if you went with me." Ryuusuke said, meaning every word. "Besides, I meant what I said, you know. In the tent, I mean." He confessed, looking at the ground, suddenly wishing he had consumed more alcohol.

Taira smiled a little; although he felt remarkably reassured. He had been waiting for that forever.

"Here I was thinking it was it was just one of those things you say in the heat of the moment."

Ryuusuke ceased his procession down the street. He looked at Taira warily, feeling horrible that his best friend thought he hadn't meant it when he told him he loved him.

"No wonder you were mad," Ryuusuke muttered. Hearing Taira actually say what he had been guessing all along made him feel like dirt. Taira instantly noticed this and felt the need to reassure.

"Dude! I'm joking!" He claimed, hating the forlorn look on Ryuusuke's face. "Well half-joking. I knew you meant it-"

"But you thought I didn't mean it as much as you thought I meant it, because I left."

Taira shrugged. That summed it up pretty well. "Basically. Why'd we stop walking?"

"Cos I don't know where we are." Ryuusuke admitted.

"Well... what time is it?" Taira said, and then realized that neither of them had watches.

"Isn't there a way you can tell by looking at the moon? Or is that just the sun?" Ryuusuke asked.

"I actually can't remember."

"We're so retarded. We can talk about our...feelings, but we can't...ugh," Ryuusuke gave up on speaking.

"I think it's just cos we're kinda drunk," Taira pointed out pensively.

Ryuusuke snorted. "I'm not drunk," he explained, just before his knee made impact with the vending machine he was pacing around, trying to get a better look at the moon. He winced and hobbled over to where Taira was leaning against a telephone pole.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm gonna go with 'ow'." Ryuusuke looped his arms around Taira's neck, his face inches away from the blonde's.

"Really," Comprehension unrelated to Ryuusuke's statement flashed onto his face. "Dude... we can just check our cell phones for the time!" He reached down into the lower pocket on his sand coloured cargo shorts to fish out said item.

"Okay. I equal drunk," Ryuusuke admitted, the sentence itself proving its truth.

Taira laid a light kiss on Ryuusuke's forehead before saying, "It's 2.15."

"That was nice."  
"Huh?"

"You kissed my forehead. It was nice."

Taira looked away; the expression on his face could only be labelled self-conscious.

"C'mon, stay at my place," Ryuusuke had gotten surprisingly confident since the beginning of the night, Taira noted. "Saku snores..."

Taira suppressed whatever traces of conflicted feelings were left as he smiled at Ryuusuke's feeble attempt to convince him to stay the night at his place.

"Sure," Taira was amazed at how much decision was put into vocalizing that one word. He wondered vaguely where that word would lead him as he and Ryuusuke walked on.


	2. Cos Tonight, We Can Be As One Tonight

**Chapter Two Cos' Tonight, We Can Be As One Tonight**

"Maho?" Ryuusuke called cautiously as he and Taira entered the house.

Ryuusuke inspected the rooms of the flat and came to the conclusion, "she must be sleeping at Koyuki's," before snorting.

"Man, I still can't believe Koyuki got in with your sister." Taira had to comment.

"Me neither," Ryuusuke pulled Taira towards him by his hand. Taira went with the motion, allowing himself to be pressed up against Ryuusuke.

"But then again, who would've though it'd be the two of us?" The raven haired guitarist breathed into his ear- Taira could hear the smile in Ryuusuke's voice as clear as he could smell the alcohol on the breath that dissipated on his neck. Warm hands slid up underneath his t-shirt as his own threaded lithe fingers through the black silk that was Ryuusuke hair, pulling his bandmate's forehead towards so they touched.

"You're beautiful." Ryuusuke told him, planting small kisses just below the platinum blond's ear. Taira looked up in bewilderment. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be called beautiful (wasn't it usually reserved for girls?) and he had certainly never been called so before.

"You're more thought than I drunk." Taira replied wittily. Well, it would've be witty if it had come out right. As it was, Ryuusuke snorted. He captured Taira's mouth in a longing kiss that said more than Ryuusuke would ever have the courage to openly admit, even when drunk. Taira could tell from the way Ryuusuke was running his hands along his torso that the guitarist had been thinking about this for awhile. It gave Taira a wonderful feeling of relief- he was glad Ryuusuke had missed him too, glad he wasn't on a one-way street for once. Taira neglected to note that he was usually the one at the end of the one-way street, not the one travelling down it.

Tangling his fingers in the black strands of Ryuusuke's near-shoulder length hair, Taira opened his mouth slightly when Ryuusuke ran his tongue along his lower lip tantalizingly, asking for admittance. Ryuusuke's roaming hands made their way to Taira's back, tracing the dips and curves with fingertips bent on memorization. Taira's left hand slid down Ryuusuke's back, his index finger tracing his bandmate's spine as he boldly tucked it under the waist of Ryuusuke's worn black jeans. He relished the sharp intake of breath he knew he'd caused when he grabbed Ryuusuke's ass. Ryuusuke moaned into Taira's mouth before parting from it. "We can't fuck tonight," Ryuusuke told him apologetically.

Taira removed his hands and placed both on Ryuusuke's hips.

"Okaayy. Do you mind if I ask why?" Taira asked as he lightly nibbled at Ryuusuke's lip, not exactly _trying _to change the guitarist's mind, but he wouldn't regret it if he did.

"Koyuki is coming over with Maho in the morning…"

"Oh." Taira understood, but was still a little put out.

They'd have a lot of explaining to do if Ryuusuke's little sister and the youngest member of their band found them naked together.

Ryuusuke grasped Taira's hand and led him to his futon.

Releasing the hand, Ryuusuke flopped onto the futon with a comfortable sigh, "Mmm, I didn't realize how tired I was."

Taira dropped to his knees and crawled to Ryuusuke's side. Taira lay on his back and turned his head to look at Ryuusuke, who was on his stomach, arms folded under his pillow. Ryuusuke watched as Taira's dark brown eyes flickered across his face, and the grin on Taira's own grew.

"What? Why're you smiling?" Ryuusuke asked lazily, eyes half-lidded.

"I fucking love you. It's so crazy. The fact that I can actually say it too," Taira admitted.

This made a slow smile creep onto Ryuusuke's face. He blew air out of his nose in a half-assed snort. Taira tucked a few loose strands of hair behind his ear for him before laying a kiss on Ryuusuke's cheek.

"Goodnight," he said before rolling onto his side so that Ryuusuke was left with the sight of his tanned back.

"'Night," Ryuusuke replied, after it registered that he should probably say something along the same lines.

He soon discovered that Taira's back was transfixing. He ran a finger along the ridges and shallow dents that made up Taira's back. His finger looked so pale against the bassist's olive skin. The finger wandered the border of Taira's bare skin ended and his boxers started, poking out of his khaki cargo shorts. His mouth twisted in a wry smile as goose bumps rose on Taira's flesh. In response, his band mate made and appreciative yet questioning noise. His head lifted off the pillow it was resting on.

"I thought we weren't doing anything tonight?"

"I couldn't help touching you. Sorry," Ryuusuke answered honestly.

Taira rolled over to face him again and – noticing something – sat up.

"You're still in your jeans," he told Ryuusuke.

"You're still in your…shorts," was the reply.

"Yeah but shorts you can sleep in. You can't sleep in jeans"

"Why not?"

"It's like a rule. Anyways, I'm taking off my shorts–I can't sleep in them."

"But I thought you said you could sleep in them?"

"_You _in general. I'm too used to not sleeping in anything. You're lucky I'm keeping my boxers on."

Just watching Taira fiddle with his belt buckle made Ryuusuke wonder if they really _needed _to be so careful about Maho and Koyuki. Koyuki had walked in on a morning after experience when Ryuusuke was having a one-night stand with a red-headed Serial Mama groupie, and he seemed to have taken that pretty well. Then again, that was just a one-night stand. Ryuusuke couldn't even remember the chick's name. Taira and Koyuki were relatively close. After all, a band _is _thedysfunctional family you choose yourself.

While Ryuusuke was thinking of all this, Taira had proceeded to throw his cargo shorts across the small room where they landed precariously on one of Ryuusuke's portable amps. Oh well.

"If you want, I'll help you take your jeans off," Taira grinned mischievously. The wink accompanying it set the black haired guitarist off. Screw scarring Koyuki and the awkwardness that would inevitably occur.

"Sure," Ryuusuke said, a lop-sided grin directed at Taira told the platinum blond he was game.

He undid his plain steel belt buckle and pushed the jeans past his hips before Taira took over, pulling Ryuusuke's pants completely off by the cuffs in one fluid motion. _Woosh_, Taira chuckled to himself. They landed somewhere approximate to Taira's own. Taira crawled above Ryuusuke, hands and knees on either side of the young man, looming over him. Ryuusuke ran his hand along Taira's sides as his band mate lowered his mouth to his pale collar bone.

"Uhn, I forgot how good that felt," Ryususuke muttered into Taira's ear. When Taira moved his head to look at him, Ryuusuke seized the chance and snuck a hand behind Taira's head, leading him into a fierce kiss. As always, Ryuusuke was pleasantly surprised at the softness of Taira's chemically-treated hair.

Taira was always forced to support himself on his forearms instead of his hand. This lowered Taira so that his body was more or less in full contact with Ryuusuke's. The two let out a collective moan as their most sensitive organs made contact with each other. Their already fierce kiss grew in intensity as did their lust.

Taira's world took an unexpected turn as Ryuusuke rolled him over so that their positions exchanged. He rubbed Taira's nipples with his calloused thumbs, the bassist's response itself being quite satisfying. Taira found himself arching his back, trying to get more out of the sensation that Ryuusuke was causing to race through his body, even though they had just started. Taira's whimpers made it hard for Ryuusuke to want to stop. _Really _hard.

Luckily for him, Taira took it upon himself to remove his left hand from Ryuusuke's silky strands and grabbed Ryuusuke's right, licking his index finger before putting it along with Ryuusuke's middle finger in his mouth. Ryuusuke grinned. Taira's tongue swirling around his digits was such an interesting feeling. When Taira was satisfied, he released Ryuusuke's hand, pulling down his white boxers.

"Ready?" Ryuusuke asked, as Taira gripped his shoulders.

"Hell yeah," Taira responded, a confident grin on his face.

Ryuusuke inserted his index finger into the blond, who gave a slight moan as he adjusted to the experience. His fingers dug into Ryuusuke's back as his band mate wiggled his digit then added his middle finger...

"Oh shit!" Taira swore, biting his lower lip and writhing as Ryuusuke continued moving his fingers inside him. Taira's hands left Ryuusuke's shoulders in favour of clutching the dark blue sheets covering the futon. Ryuusuke never saw Taira like this-with exception of their first time at Grateful Sound. He savoured the pained expression of pleasure on Taira's usually so calm and collected face, as the young man tried not to lose control.

"N-now," the bleach blond panted and Ryuusuke quit his motions, taking his fingers out of Taira, whose body quivered in anticipation. Ryuusuke moaned as he entered Taira. The combination of the noises Taira was emitting, and the unbelievable feeling of being inside him was a rush. Taira engaged him in a sloppy yet passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around him. Ryuusuke sat up, pulling Taira into his arms with him. Taira's knees brushed his waist as Ryuusuke guided him by his hips up and then down Ryuusuke's length.

"Ah, fuck," Taira moaned into Ryuusuke's shoulder. The raven haired guitarist's hand gripped Taira's hips more firmly, assisting him in his movements.

The room filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and moans (including the random curse word) as the two lost themselves in each other.

Taira came first, every muscle in his body tensing, causing Ryuusuke to climax right after him. Ryuusuke allotted Taira a slower-paced kiss as they lowered themselves back to rest on the futon.

They lay side-by-side, panting for a moment before Ryuusuke cryptically said, "So it's true what they say."

"What?" Taira asked, frowning slightly.

"Bass players do it better." Ryuusuke told him, flashing a cheesy grin.

Taira laughed in spite of himself, trying to look disbelieving. "Compared to whom? Besides, this wasn't our first time…"

"I don't exactly know. Oh, I know," he starts, responding to the second half of what Taira said. "But we were in a tent and didn't do _this_. Besides, we had to be quiet."

Taira smirked, "Our first time wasn't that bad."

"No, after the whole 'now how do we go about this' part, it was pretty good. But being able to make noise, _that _brings it to a whole new level," he grinned. "You should hear yourself. I could get off on just _listening _to you."

Taira blushed slightly in spite of himself, "Wow, man, thanks. I'll remember that for when I need to get back at you for something…or something." Taira was getting sleepy and his statements were making less sense as a result.

"Where are my boxers?" He asked, not even looking around the room.

"Does it matter?" Ryuusuke question back, eyes already shut.

"Mmm, not enough to get up," he concurred and rolled onto his side and Ryuusuke soon latched onto his back.

"I love you, Taira," he murmured.

"Yeah, I love you too, man."


	3. You May Be Right

**Chapter Three: You May Be Right  
**

"I wonder how late Chiba, Ryuusuke, and Taira stayed up till?" Koyuki asked Maho, who was lying next to him in his bed.

She had ended up sleeping over because she knew that Ryuusuke wouldn't be home until late.

"Plus, you have to take into account if any of them took home anyone."

Koyuki snorted, "So that's why you slept over."

"Partially, yeah."

"That's cool. So when do you think we should go see Ryuusuke?"

"I don't know. I don't want to 'intrude'," she made air quotes with her fingers, "on anything. The worst part is the morning after in my opinion. How about we call him around 11:30?"

Koyuki nodded, "Wanna get some breakfast?"

"Sure," Maho smiled, "I'm starved.

Ryuusuke woke up to the sound of 'Guerilla Radio'. Realizing that it was his cell-phone, he slowly untangled himself from the still-sleeping Taira and walked towards the music. Seeing that it was his little sister, he answered with a quiet, "Hello?" as he left the room, not wanting to wake his lover up.

"Hey, Ray. You with someone?" Maho asked.

"Yeah," Ryuusuke answered, slightly annoyed at the interrogation, "How'd you know?"

"'Cos you answered your phone in a quiet voice. Why would you do that if no one was sleeping there?"

"Wow Maho. Your skills of deduction are improving."

"Ouch bro, sarcasm first thing in the morning isn't sexy. Hopefully she's still sleeping," Maho told him.

"Looks like you still need to improve on your deduction skills before you become a freelance private eye." Ryuusuke told her, smiling. He could tell she would not appreciate this comment.

"Pssh, your comedy routine needs work too. So what was I wrong about? There's no one there?"

"No, Taira stayed over," Ryuusuke whispered, as he held the phone an inch away from his ear as his sister laughed.

"Woah, I was way off. So anyway, can Koyuki and I come over soon? Around 12?"

"Yeah sure, Taira should be up soon."

"Okay, see ya then."

"Yeah, you too," Click.

Ryuusuke wandered back into what could be loosely termed as his bedroom where Taira was still snoozing. He sat down next to him, drawing his knees up to his bare chest and holding them, observing the bleach blond in 'sleep mode'. This too, was a rare site. Taira was a considerate sleeper, not sprawling out or hogging the pillows. He didn't snore either, though Ryuusuke doubted it would bother him. Instead, inaudible words formed on the bassist's lips: statements which only Taira could hear.

Ryuusuke smiled content with just watching Taira sleep. Unfortunately, it was already 10 minutes to 12, which meant he should probably wake Taira up so he could at least put some clothing on. Regretfully, Ryuusuke ran a finger down the middle of Taira's face, tapping him on the nose. Taira's mouth closed and his eyes opened. Upon seeing the light of day he squeezed them shut again.

"Whhhyyyy?" he groaned, making Ryuusuke chuckle, "What time is it?"

"11:51 in the morning…technically, you got enough sleep."

"Technically you're an asshole," Taira squinted.

"Aw, don't be bitter," Ryuusuke remarked, mock-hurt filling his voice as he tried to pout - something difficult to accomplish when you're trying not to smile.

"You're ugly when you pout," Taira told him, grinning. Ryuusuke hit his arm and then stood up.

"Here's the deal, put on these," Ryuusuke said as he threw Taira's boxers at him, "and these," the boxers were soon accompanied by his cargo shorts, "and you can go back to sleep. Okay?"

Taira sat up, "Nah I'm awake now. I also need to take a shower," He told the guitarist, casually pulling on his clothing as Ryuusuke put on his jeans.

"I hate to say this," Taira said, standing and stretching his arms above his head, "But it kinda smells like sex in here."

Ryuusuke opened the windows and turned on the ceiling fan, "Don't worry. Maho wouldn't even think about it and Koyuki, well…we don't need to worry about him."

Taira laughed and ran a hand through his own hair, trying to get rid of the flat spot he knew was there.

"Man, one day your sister's just gonna rock his world."

Ryuusuke snorted.

"Hey you guys dressed?" they heard Maho cry out from outside.

"Speak of the devil," Taira remarked as they made their way to the front door.

"Yeah…well, half." Ryuusuke responded as he met Majo and Koyuki.

"I see you left your clothes on for Ryuusuke." Maho commented. Taira's sleeping habits were well known to the band.

"What makes you think he didn't just put them on for you two?" Ryuusuke asked, a glint in his eye.

"He's got a point," Taira said matter-of-factly. They tried to keep straight faces, but the looks on the teens' faces were too much. Taira laughed, and Ryuusuke, Maho, and Koyuki joined in. Ryuusuke and Taira weren't _trying_ to keep their relationship a secret, but neither of them wanted to spell it out. They just wanted people to figure it out for themselves; it was less stressful and way more fun.

As they sat in Ryuuske's "kitchen" (again very loosely termed) the guitarist asked, "You guys had breakfast yet?"

"Yeah, Koyukie's mom made us breakfast," Maho told him.

"We're going out for breakfast – or I guess a late brunch – after we take showers. You guys wanna come with?" Ryuusuke asked, as Taira went to go take the mentioned shower.

"I'm in," Koyuki answered, looking at Maho.

"Yeah sure, why not?" the dark hair girl replied, "I'm going to go pick out a manga to read. I'll be back." Majo had conveniently left (it really was so Koyuki could talk to her brother).

Koyuki said, "So it looks like you two and Taira are on good terms again."

"Yeah," Ryuusuke grinned, "and the make-up sex was great."

A look of shock and confusion was scrawled onto the teen's face.

"W-What? Are you being serious?"

Ryuusuke didn't have the chance to respond as Majo came in with a scowl on her face.

"Where is my second volume of Hana Kimi?"

Ryuusuke frowned indignantly, "Why would you think I know where it is?"

"This is where you live, right?" Maho snapped at him.

"Yeah well, maybe if you kept them at your place; or at least kept track of them." He told her.

Maho said nothing, and went back to retrieve another manga.

"Yo, Ryuusuke," Taira called from the washroom.

"I'll be back in a sec," Ryuusuke told Koyuki who was still trying to make sense of Ryuusuke's earlier statement.

"Yeah man?" he answered when he got to the closed door.

"Can you get my shirt from your room?"

"Yeah sure," Ryuusuke said as he made his way to his room to gather both his and Taira's t-shirt.

"Ray?" Maho said in and inquiring tone. She was crouched down, skimming through the manga titles with her light brown eyes back to him.

"Yeah?" Ryuusuke answered, suddenly wary. Whenever Maho had that tone to her voice, Ryuusuke knew his sister was going to ask him an important question.

"Do you and Taira have a thing going on?"

"A 'thing'?"

"Ray…"

"Maybe. What do you think?" He grinned and left the room to give Taira his shirt and take his own shower.

"Here's your shirt," Ryuusuke threw the bassist's shirt in his face.

"Thanks, what took you?"

"I think my sister and Koyuki are onto us," Ryuusuke told him.

"Really?" Taira grinned. "It couldn't have been all those hints we've been dropping, could it?"

"Well, prepare yourself for awkward interrogations."

""Will do," Taira pecked his cheek before leaving the bathroom.

"Hey Koyuki, what's up?" Taira greeted the young guitarist and occupied the chair Ryuusuke had been sitting in.

"Nothing much, what time did you guys get in?"

Taira snorted, "I don't remember. Oh man, you should've seen Chiba – he was completely wasted. We had to walk him back home. Then we got lost so we just decided to try and end up here before morning."

Koyuki chuckled lightly, just imagining Taira and Ryuusuke wandering aimlessly around town. Maho entered the room, a mixed expression of amusement and curiosity on her face. She wanted a clear answer, and she was going to get it.

"Taira…," Maho started.

"Yeah?" he answered expectantly. Maho opened her mouth and closed it after a moment. She hadn't really thought of what exactly to say; she sure as hell didn't want to say anything too assuming and then get it wrong.

"What time does the show tonight start again?"

"Um, seven. It's seven, right Koyuki?"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure."

Ryuusuke sauntered into the kitchen. "It's definitely seven," he told them, standing behind Taira as there were only three chairs surrounding the small kitchen table.

"What do you say we get some food now?"

Everything seemed normal enough to the suspecting Maho and Koyuki as they ate. _Well of course it does _Maho thought_, what was I expecting? _she asked herself. She really didn't have an answer. The only reason she wanted to get to the bottom of this was because it bugged her that her brother never mentioned anything about it before. There was no 'Hey, I'm going out with Taira,' or 'Hey Maho, I think I have a thing for Taira,' or even, 'Yeah Taira's pretty hot'. But maybe they were at a complicated stage right now…_That's it! God I'm such an idiot. They probably don't even know what's going on __themselves__ right now,_ she realized.

After the restaurant they decided to part ways.

"I better go home, Saku's probably wondering if I'm still alive." The others laughed.

"Tell him if he's not busy he should come over to Saito's to hang out with us," Koyuki told him as Maho nodded her agreement.

"We should head over there right now actually," Maho said, "See you guys before the show starts."

Maho and Koyuki waved goodbye and set off down the sidewalk at a leisurely place.

"So I'll see you at the show then," Ryuusuke said, not sure how to part from Taira. Taira took hold of his hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Yeah, see you." He agreed and reluctantly let go, walking in the opposite direction.

Maho discreetly glanced over her shoulder just in time to see Taira release her brother's hand. She looked to Koyuki, who was doing the exact same thing. So much for being discreet. Koyuki scratched his head perplexedly,

"I never would have thought either of them would've been 'into guys'," he commented.

Maho rolled her eyes and sighed, "They're not 'into guys', Koyuki. They're into each other. The fact that they're both guys has little to do with it. Although, " she stated, "Even though I knew Taira was one of those people who's totally open-minded when it comes to sexuality, I'm a bit surprised about my brother.

"Only 'a bit?'"

"Well, I knew he'd found something with Taira that he'd never found before; I mean, they became really close pretty fast."

"Well yeah. But I thought it was in the 'best friends' way like me and Saku."

Maho giggled a little, "Well technically is the 'best friends' way – as you put it. But sometimes the line between intellectually appealing and sexual appealing blurs, and then fades. That's when you like someone for everything they are."

"That sounds like love." Koyuki remarked.

"I guess it is."

The two walked silently for a moment before he asked, "So that means they're in love?"

Maho made a sound of annoyance, "I _don't know. _Why are you asking me?"

"Well you seemed to know a lot about it…" he explained.

"That's only because my brother wouldn't stop talking about the guy, but he never said anything about finding him attractive."

"Is that why you were mad at him this morning?"

"That and the manga thing," her lips twitching in an attempt to prevent a smile. It failed.

"I dunno, I think Taira would be good for my brother. I'm more worried about how Ryuusuke's going to treat _him_. I mean, I know it must be slightly different since they were friends before and since they're both guys, but Ry has made some pretty bad relationship decisions in the past."

Koyuki nodded silently. In his time being friends with the talented guitarist, he'd realized that Ryuusuke was good at getting women, just not at keeping them. He remembered the second time he saw him. He was carelessly breaking up with a very-distressed young woman. An unsettling thought occurred to him,

"What will happen to the band if they have a bad break-up?"

"See, that's probably the only real risk of inter-band relationships, in Beck's case. Hopefully the breakup will be mutual, or they decide to stick through it for the band. I actually think the worst-case scenario would be putting the band on hold for a while,"

As they neared the shop where Mr. Saito lived, Maho paused and looked at Koyuki, "Let's not talk about this around Saito right now," She told him.

"Oh, I totally agree."

"Good. Thanks Koyuki."


	4. All Because Of You

**Chapter Four: All Because Of You**

Taira entered his apartment to find Saku playing his Gameboy Advanced, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"Hey, what game're you playing?" he asked, removing his sneakers.

"Pokemon Sapphire," Saku said grinning, not taking his dark brown eyes off the screen.

"For what? Like the tenth time?" Taira questioned jokingly, taking a seat beside Saku on the couch and propping his feet on the coffee table.

"Thirteenth actually."

Taira chuckled and Saku pitting the handheld gaming system down, turned to Taira.

"So what happened last night? I thought you might've passed out on the way home or something. Then I realized that the probably of going home with someone was much more likely," Saku soothed a hand over his scruffy, short, coal-black hair.

"Yeah I stayed the night at Ryuusuke's."

"Really? Isn't his place the farthest from the bar?"

"Mhm, but we got lost on the way home from Chiba's. By the time we had gotten our bearings, we were closest to his house," Taira lied flawlessly.

"That makes sense," Saku concurred. That reminded Taira.

"Oh, Maho and Koyuki told me to tell you that they were at Saito's and you're free to join them," the bassist recalled, adjusting his feet while scanning the room for the television's remote control. He discovered it wedged between the worn brown couch's cushions.

"Ah, finally something to do today," Saku said standing. Soon his shoes were on and he was ready to go out the door.

"See you at the show then? My drum set's already in the van."

"I guess so then." Taira said, turning on the t.v.

Ryuusuke was still high on life by the time sound check at the club they were playing at rolled around. Saku and Taira checked with the same song by some British alt rock legend they had just discovered. Since they were one of the first bands to do soundcheck they had to wait around until seven.

Taira leaned against the bar as he conversed with Chiba, who was already chatting up the pretty bartender. Taira smiled at the woman who was going along with Chiba's lines as if she'd never heard them before.

She winked at the bleach blond as Chiba said, "Sorry, beautiful, but I have to go talk to my bandmate now." The curly haired lead singer hopped off the barstool to say god-knew-what to Koyuki.

"Your friend's really something," she told Taira, taking two emptied glasses and placing them in the stainless steel sink behind the bar.

"Yeah, he's a really sweet guy," Taira agreed.

"Too bad I have a thing for hot, friendly bassists," she told him smilingly, flipping long brown tresses over one shoulder.

Taira kept the grin on, unfazed by the come-on, "Really? I hope you can fine one – it shouldn't be hard for you." Taira knew he probably shouldn't have added the second part, but the girl was gorgeous.

"I think I have. He happens to be playing here tonight."

"Oh, maybe you'll catch his eye."

She reached out and stroked his forearm, which was, resting on the counter, "I'm pretty sure I already have, Taira. What are you doing after the show tonight?"

The platinum blond glanced over his shoulder to see Ryuusuke, talking with Saku.

"I'm sorry Mitsuki, but I'm with someone. I'd be glad to find you a much hotter, friendlier bass player."

"Too bad," she faux-pouted, "Is that someone here tonight?"

Taira knew she'd get over it quickly enough; they always did.

Ryuusuke tried to pay attention to what Saku was talking about, but the fact that the pretty woman behind the bar was hitting on Taira was _really _distracting. There was a nagging pull in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't ignore forever. As much as he wanted to play the cool, uncaring best-friend/lover he just couldn't; he need to take action.

"Yeah, actually," Taira stopped talking, surprised as a pair of arms snaked around his waist and he felt lips brush against the nape of his neck.

"Hey Mitsuki," Ryuusuke voice sounded louder than usual when the side of his face was so close to Taira's.

"–I'm with Ryuusuke," Taira managed to finish.

She smiled genuinely, "That's great you two."

Taira tried to focus on her words instead of the increase of his heart-rate and the little somersaults his stomached seemed to be engaging in. Mitsuki giggled a little.

"What?" they said near simultaneously confused expressions on their faces.

"It's- It's nothing," she told them. "It's just you're so cute."

This made Taira smile. Even Ryuusuke had to grin a little. He'd never imagined getting this kind of reaction.

"So do your bandmates know?" she asked, pointing at the surprised faces of both Koyuki and Saku.

"Well, not entirely. This is the first time we've spelt it out so to speak," Taira told her.

"Ohhh, for me? I feel special."

"Yeah, well, something got into me."

"Dude, your bass player and lead guitarist are together?" A guitarist from another band questioned Chiba, as Saku now had a conflicting mixture of acceptance and disbelief on his face. Koyuki waved a hand in front of his face worriedly.

"Well, I don't know if I would say they're 'together', but whatever they have, the ladies love it." Koyuki looked around the dim, hazy room to find most of the females glancing over at Ryuusuke and Taira, with knowing grins on their faces.

"I guess it's good to attract female attention to the band, but what about all the guys who don't want to be perceived as fags?" the guy said.

Chiba shook his head. "Once they hear us, they won't believe it anyway; Besides, we're in Japan, man, it's a free country."

"Saku, are you alright?" Koyuki asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. It's just I see it, but I don't believe it. I'll get over it, don't worry."

Koyuki smiled, "I never doubted you would."

After all the bands had played, they left along with the throng of people also leaving the club, having already packed up their stuff and putting it in the van during one band's performance so they didn't have to worry about it later. Taira held on to Ryuusuke's hand as they made their way to the beat up van. They could've made it out of the crowd without losing sight of each other without holding one another's hand, but the freedom of holding hands beat the liberty of having both hands free, in Taira's opinion. One particular conversation piqued Taira's interest.

"See! I told you they were together!" a female voice dictated.

"No way, they're _total _chick magnets, why would they go after each other? They don't even act gay…they're like the coolest guys ever," a deep male voice defended. A smile tugged at the bleach blonde's lips. Thing couldn't be better. Reaching the dull, red van, they met up with the others. Ryuusuke caught Maho's eyes flicker from his and Taira's intertwined fingers to his eyes. He gave her an 'is-this-cool-with-you?' look. A reassuring smile was what he got back. Taira released his hand and went around to claim the driver's seat.

As the vehicle coughed into life, Maho asked from the back, "Can you drop me off at home Taira? Our grandma's coming back from Jamaica tonight and I don't want to stay at Ryuusuke's with the two of them – I'd probably have to share a bed with Ray."

"Sure," he said, looking at Ryuusuke in the passenger's seat. "Hey, do you want to turn on the radio or find a CD?"

"I'll just turn on whatever's in there," Ryuusuke replied, brushing his hair back from his sapphire eyes so he could see the buttons he was pressing. A song with a sound that caught Ryuusuke's full attention within 30 seconds came on. Taking in the expression of suppressed excitement that Ryuusuke always got whenever he heard music he really liked, Taira turned up the volume. Ryuusuke's eyes closed as he slightly bobbed with the rhythm and his leg wiggled as he tapped his foot.

"Who is this?" Koyuki asked Saku loudly.

"Bloc Party; they're freaking amazing," Saku replied grinning.

"I'll say," Chiba agreed, "They're from Britain right?"

Saku nodded. "We were playing this song at sound check, remember? Taira and I were listening to it on the way to the club."

They stopped in front of Maho's house. "See you guys later."

As they started pulling away, Chiba summoned Koyuki to the bench seat he and Saku were sitting on. "Come up here dude, Saku's singing isn't that bad. Besides, you can hardly hear over the music," he told him jokingly.

"Would you rather I air drum and 'accidentally' punch you in the face?" Saku laughed.

"You'd probably improve it," Ryuusuke said from the front. To Taira he said, "We're going to your place, right?"

Taira nodded, "I figured since it's only the four of us, and since your grandma's coming home."

Ryuusuke smiled, "Thanks, you're great."

The guitarist's smile infected Taira as he smiled while singing along with the song playing.

"Why so scared of romance? This modern love breaks me "

At Taira's, they sat around discussing the show. What they did well on, where they could improve, and of course, what they thought of the crowd.

"Dude, all the chick's don't know what to think, and all the guys don't believe it," Chiba laughed, talking to Taira and Ryuusuke. They were sitting side by side, both cross-legged on the carpet just like everyone else in their little square.

"Why should we care?" Ryuusuke asked.

Beside him, Taira shrugged a little and made a 'he's got a point' face.

"You shouldn't," Saku told him, "but I hear you're going to be getting a lot more free drinks." Koyuki smiled, having overheard the same conversation as Saku.

"Oh, dude, yeah, those fangirls are crazy," the younger guitarist agreed. "But if you guys keep acting the way you have been," he added, "everything should die down."

"The way 'we have been'?"

"Well how long have you guys known that you wanted to be together?" Koyuki asked, preoccupied with the floor.

Taira's mouth twitched as he tried not to smile at the way Koyuki worded what was obviously supposed to mean, 'when did you guys decide you wanted to fuck each other?' Or maybe he was being sarcastic towards Koyuki's attitude.

"Grateful Sound, probably," Ryuusuke told truthfully.

"I'd say so," Taira nodded, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Well now that everything's out in the open," Chiba started, "I just want to know how things changed so fast."

"What do you mean?" Taira asked.

"Well, you've basically been pissed off at Ryuusuke ever since Grateful Sound because of well…you know. Even though he rejoined the band, you kept your distance. So what happened?"

"It was just a mistake. A failure to communicate really," the bleach blond explained. It was odd to talk about this with their friends.

_This is why we've been avoiding coming out into the open in the first place, _he reminded himself. '_Just go with the flow man. Tell them what they want to know to the extent of what you actually want them to know.' _Those were Maho's words to him. Of course, they were spoken when he had first started dating a barmaid at another local club that liked him. Female bartenders always seemed to like him. Maho's words could just as easily be applied to this situation. Ryuusuke's little sister had a decent head on her shoulders.

Koyuki was the first to notice the time. "Ah, crap! I have work tomorrow!" he remembered, the momentary glance at his watch turning into a glare, "It's 1:30."

"What? Oh man, see you guys, I'm going to bed," Saku mosied over to the worn chestnut brown couch that served as his bed. They were eventually going to get a futon, but this was fine right now.

"I'll walk with you, Koyuki," Chiba told him, since Koyuki's house and Chiba's apartment were only a couple blocks away from each other. "Ryuusuke, you coming?"

"Yeah, I just need to talk to Taira, I'll catch up with you guys okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Saku had all but gone comatose already. Taking advantage of the situation, Ryuusuke pulled Taira closer to him by the waist.

"What is this?" Taira asked, now so close that Ryuusuke could feel the bassist's breath on his skin. Ryuusuke smiled slightly and planted a kiss on Taira's unsuspecting mouth. Taira pushed him away, although the mini-hall before the apartment was only four feet in width, not really ridding the sense of intimacy.

"Saku's in the room!" he exclaimed. It didn't really matter, since the teen was in a rather deep sleep. Taira didn't trust himself not to get into anything. Especially when had work the next morning.

"He's around the corner, and dead to the world now," Ryuusuke reasoned, not unduly concerned with Taira's behaviour. He knew this was really because…

"I don't want to get into anything tonight."

Exactly.

And although Ryuusuke understood (even though he slept-in on a regular basis) that didn't mean he liked the idea of sleeping alone tonight.

"I get off work at four tomorrow, you can come over then," Taira informed him, running his left hand lightly down the guitarist's arm. Ryuusuke's lips twitched to the side, his deep blue eyes amused.

"Tease," he accused jokingly.

"Can I just sleep over?" he suddenly asked, sticking on a pout for Taira.

Taira sighed tiredly, rubbing his sleepy chestnut eyes in an attempt to keep alert and prolong not answering Ryuusuke's question.

"I don't know, we shouldn't try this now."

"Try what?"

"Sleeping in the same bed without having sex first," Taira readily replied, "because I really don't want to go to work dog-tired…"

"We won't – I promise. I'll keep it in my pants, " Ryuusuke told him, glad Taira didn't just outright say 'no' and was considering.

"But what about me? What if I'm the one that can't-"

"Don't worry, I'll think of something. Pretend I'm Koyuki's boss." Ryuusuke grinned wickedly.

Taira made a discomforted face but said, "fine." Although he had the sneaking suspicion Ryuusuke was dying to put his idea (Taira could tell he had one) to use.

As Ryuusuke innocently enough snuggled closer to Taira, his breathing even and relaxed, all that went through Taira's head were thoughts such as '_why does this feel so damn_ _**good**_?' and '_I __**knew **__I wouldn't be able to sleep with him here_.'

"Taira?" Ryuusuke murmured thickly, "Are you still awake?"

A pause, that seemed to last much longer than it actually was, and then, "Yes."

"Why?"

Taira growled inside his head." Because-," he began, than realized that he was about to sound like a whiney bitch. He changed his strategy to something less direct, and hopefully more helpful.

"How are you sleeping so well?" he questioned the raven-haired guitarist.

"Well, I used to share a bed with Maho a lot, so I'm used to sleeping with someone in my bed. I just forget who I'm sleeping beside and think it's my sister."

Taira didn't know how to respond. It made sense, but it didn't really solve anything for him. Taira cursed not having any siblings he could've been forced to share a bed with.

"Would it help if I didn't spoon…?" Ryuusuke asked, moving away from him. The bleach blond rolled off his side onto his back closing his eyes.

"No, it doesn't matter…" he felt Ryuusuke's hand ghost down his chest with giddy warmth filling his stomach. Unfortunately, Ryuusuke's touch was also causing something else to transpire.

Taira's brow furrowed. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Helping you get some sleep," Ryuusuke pushed the blankets down so that the only part of Taira covered was everything below his knees. The bassist quickly remedied that, putting his feet on the covers; it was only an automatic reaction though.

"Are you drunk?" he asked, concern trying to overwhelm the confusion currently clouding his features.

"No," Ryuusuke gave him a 'what does that have to do with anything anyway?' look. "Just relax and try not to be as loud as last night."

Ignoring Taira's protest of "No, seriously, Ryuusuke don't-", the guitarist took him into his mouth before Taira could finish it, the words dying on his tongue as a low moan overpowered them instead. The look on Taira's face was too much as his eyes first widened and then slid shut. Ryuusuke just had to laugh, the vibration causing a most pleasurable sensation on Taira's part. The bleach blond bit his lip hard enough to keep him rooted in reality so he could keep the volume of the noises he was emitting under control.

Taira was rushing towards his climax embarrassingly quick, although he realized that he hadn't even wanted this to occur in the first place. He couldn't help crying out as he came, his hips bucking of their own accord. No unprepared for this, Ryuusuke was ready for the warm spurt that hit the roof of his mouth. He lapped up that which he had missed, indifferent to the odd taste. He crawled back up to the position he'd been lying in before, and let Taira breath for a few more moments before pecking him on the cheek.

"Help?"

"Yes." Taira responded, already half-asleep.

"Good."


	5. Every Half Hour Is A Countdown

**Chapter Five: Every Half Hour Is A Countdown**

When Ryuusuke awoke, Taira had already gone to work. It didn't surprise the lean young man, since Taira went to work at what Ryuusuke called an 'ungodly hour' while he himself rolled out of his lover's bed at approximately 9:30. After pulling on his pants, he ventured out of the room in search of sustenance. As soon as he opened the bedroom door, he spotted Saku pouring milk into a bowl of cereal.

"Yo," He greeted, hoping this would go over smoothly. Saku tensed and then relaxed when he saw who was talking to him.

"Give me a heart attack, will you?" the scruffy haired teen told him, "I thought I was the only one home." He paused, obviously realizing now what this meant. He looked like he was about to say something, then closed his partially open mouth.

When he opened it again (after an awkward silence) he asked, "Fruit Loops?" as he shook the red box beside him slightly – his way of breaking the aforementioned silence. Ryuusuke's lips twisted into a wry smile at his bandmate's strategy.

"They're only my most favourite inner-tubed shaped cereal ever," he replied. Saku laughed as he grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and Ryuusuke retrieved a spoon. Soon they were sitting at the small table, crunching away on the multi-coloured cereal.

"So how's your girlfriend? I didn't spot her at the show last night." Ryuusuke commented, making conversation. He recognized instantly that he'd made the wrong choice of topic.

Saku gave him a suspicious look and asked, "What did Taira tell you?"

"Taira? Nothing. Why?" Ryuusuke answered, "Would he have something to tell me?" the guitarist raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"No. It's just- we broke up last week," Saku told him in a confiding tone.

"Ouch, you guys were going out for a year right?"

"And a half," Saku nodded looking less than happy.

"Let me guess, it was the band," Ryuusuke said, having broke up with many a girl over the 'me-or-the-band' issue.

"Somewhat…Oh man, she made such a scene. I wish she would've punched me or something, you know what I mean?" he grimaced. Ryuusuke wondered distantly if Taira would punch him when, no, - if, Ryuusuke corrected himself – they broke up. Was it an 'if'? Ryuusuke turned back to the conversation.

"Where did you break up?" he questioned.

"Here. We were sitting on the couch when it started."

"Started?"

"Well yeah, I don't think either of us were planning it. Things just built up, and then everything blew up – like we'd been constructing a bomb. She asked me why I never put my arm around her when we watched TV, and then I told her that she always told me she hated possessive guys…so we started arguing about that. And then it got really personal."

He sighed, "I never want to go through that again."

"Don't worry. You'll find a girl who'll tell you what to do." Ryuusuke smirked, "Those are the best kind."

Saku nodded, looking a little happier.

"So Taira overheard you two arguing?"

"Hard not to, but yeah. She went crazy when he came out to see what was going on," her words echoed in his head. "It was terrible. 'Obviously you wouldn't be this stressed out if it weren't for the band!' Cue Taira, in his usual half-naked splendor,"

Saku made an exasperated face. "You'd rather hang out with this guy rather than me? So it's the band over me? God damn it, Saku!'

"By the time I explained, we both realized that there was no way to repair this thing we used to call a relationship. It wasn't Taira's fault, but I still didn't talk to him for the day," Saku finished.

"Wow. That sucks," was all Ryuusuke could say without sounding unbelievably cheesy.

"The thing that gets me is how I don't feel like I'm going to be lost without her," Saku said, standing to put his now empty bowl in the sink. Ryuusuke joined him, placing his on top of Saku's.

"That means it was definitely time to move on."

Saku simply nodded. They made their way over to the couch and were soon playing Tony Hawk's Underground on Taira's Gamecube.

"So," Saku started as they finished yet another match of King of the Hill (Saku the victor), "Do you figure you're in love with Taira?"

The tone of his voice suggested that he could've easily been asking which character Ryuusuke was going to choose next, but his face showed he'd been thinking about asking for a while.

"Yes," Ryuusuke gave a deep nod before elaborating, "it feels like we'll never run out of things to say to each other. He's the only person I've ever met that can really get inside my head and understand just like Maho. It's truly incredible. I've never felt more…complete."

Saku gave a wide grin and Ryuusuke coughed embarrassedly. He'd just been gushing about Taira.

"It sounds like you guys have got it all worked out."

Ryuusuke shook his head, "Not at all. To tell you the truth, it's kind of scary; I've never been in a relationship like this, so I have no idea what I'm doing. And if I slip up…I'd just rather not thing about it. We've made a collective decision to go with the flow, and to get through the rough patches –together- as best we can."

Before the young drummer could retort that that sounded pretty worked out to him, Ryuusuke's cell phone went off. Looking at the call display, a look of slight confusion clouded his features.

"Hello? Mom? I thought you were in- "

Saku could hear every word as a mature female voice cut his bandmate off. Ryuusuke's mother's voice was made tinny by the tiny cell phone speaker combined with the factor of Saku's distance of three feet, but the voice still sounded firm yet caring. Saku had to wonder if perhaps that way the way she acted as well.

"Vancouver? Ah yes. We closed the deal early. It was magnificent, sweety."

Ryuusuke smiled slightly at Saku, who was doing the same. His mother's joy seemed to be rather infectious.

"I was thinking that we should all have dinner together to celebrate. It'll just be me, you, grandma, your dad and Maho. Oh and Koyuki- he's such a cutie…Which brings me to my next point; is it true you're seeing someone? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I overheard Koyuki talking about it before Maho hung up the phone…I'm sorry if I'm being nosy."

Ryuusuke's head was swimming with possible ways this could turn out. His parents had no idea that he had any interest in guys – hell; he didn't even know until Taira came along – and he couldn't begin to guess how they would react. Still, he didn't want to lie, especially since he and Taira were determined not to hide their relationship.

"Uh, no mom not at all. It's kinda your responsibility to know right? Just a sec, my buddy needs some help with his fish tank. I'll be right back."

Saku's face was scrunched up perplexedly as he mouthed "fish tank?" and he shrugged his shoulders.

"What should I tell her?" Ryuusuke mouthed back, his hand over the receiver. His face was also scrunched up, but in anxiety. Saku shrugged again.

"Just tell her as much of the truth you can," he whispered. That sounded good to Ryuusuke.

Bringing the phone back to the side of his face, he said, "Mom? Yeah, I'm seeing someone- "

"That's great!" his mother exclaimed, "When did you two meet?"

Saku tried to repress the grin that was fighting to form on his face, but it was hard not to find humour in the guitarist's awkward situation.

"We've actually been friends for a while; you might've met before, I'm not sure- "

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry, I have to go get the groceries and all that jazz. Bring your little friend over tonight. I'll see you around 6, okay? I love you."

"Yeah mom, I love you too." Click. Ryuusuke exhaled deeply, "Wow." was all he could manage.

"So Taira's gonna meet the folks? Let me guess. Your parents aren't exactly expecting your 'little friend' to be a guy." Saku had hit the proverbial nail on the head.

"I don't even know how they'll react. I mean, they're fine with homosexuality and all that, but it's different when it's your only son…it's gotta be, right?" Ryuusuke explained his thoughts, feeling drained. Saku tried to think of something encouraging to say.

"Well, that may be the case, but I don't think they'll react totally against their views just for you. I think they'll just be surprised." Saku looked up in thought, "Very surprised given your track record," he added after a moment.

Ryuusuke nodded in agreement – what Saku was saying did make a lot of sense. What was more, it was a comforting theory. And all was well for the rest of the day as the two lounged around the apartment until Taira came home at 4. When Taira entered his apartment, he was welcomed by the sound of what could only be Ryuusuke playing his acoustic. He walked into the living room to see Ryuusuke, sitting on the couch with Saku beside him, listening intently.

"…yeah, it's always better when we're together, we're somewhere in between together…" Ryuusuke sang, having not noticed Taira yet. Taira smiled, leaning his shoulder against the wall. He'd never heard the guitarist really sing before; it was refreshing. When he was finished the song he looked up and saw Taira, albeit a dirty and sweaty one. The smile that appeared on his face mirrored the one on his lover's as he said with a light joking tone to his voice, "Nice helmet. You look like one of the Village People." Taira and Saku laughed.

"Well, I _am _a construction worker – all we need now is a police officer, a stereotypical Native American, and…damn, I always forget the last one!" Taira removed the white helmet and placed it on the counter beside him, appreciating the fact that his apartment was open-concept.

"I think it was somebody from the Navy," Saku told them, standing up. "Anyway, do you need to shower right away Taira? Cause if you don't I'm going to take one and then go hang Koyuki for a couple of hours about 'dinner'." He grinned.

"No, it's alright, go ahead."

Saku quickly disappeared into the bathroom and the sound of running water was heard. Taira took a seat where the drummer had been.

"I've never really heard you sing before; you have a good voice," Taira complimented Ryuusuke, who shook his head slightly.

"Thanks, but that's only because I took singing lessons with Maho. Great singers are born, not made, like Koyuki."

Taira nodded. He'd been in enough bands to know that the statement was truth.

"Still, I wouldn't mind hearing a little more Jack Johnson from you."

Ryuusuke had to smile in spite of himself, "Alright. Here we go;

'Situation Number one, it's the one that's just begun but evidently it's too late…  
Situation Number two, it's the only chance for you, it's controlled by denizens of hate…  
Situation Number three, it's the one that no one sees, all too often dismissed as fate…  
Situation Number four, the one that left you wanting more, tantalized you with its bait…ahh…'"

There was something unbelievably sexy about Ryuusuke playing the guitar and Taira knew exactly why so many girls flocked around guitarists like him.

"I love that song – whenever I listen to it, I always think he wrote it as just a good riff and then added some poetry to it as an afterthought." Ryuusuke told the bleach blond, "by the way, you look really hot right now. I think I've just discovered a kink or something." He grinned as Taira gave a surprised laugh.

"What? Construction workers?"

"No, Taira after work." Ryuusuke set the guitar down, leaning carefully against the coffee table, before closing the space between him and Taira, planting his lips on the bassist. Taira shifted to lie on the couch underneath Ryuusuke who paused, and looked at Taira's green and black horizontally striped ankle socked feet.

"Like my socks?" Taira questioned, raising an eyebrow. Ryuusuke smirked and ran a hand up and down the side of Taira's thigh, starting from his hip.

"I love them. I was just checking so I wouldn't get the heel of a steel toed boot in my back," he explained.

"Oh. Well in _that _case," Taira pulled Ryuusuke down onto him, wrapping the leg closest to the back of the couch around Ryuusuke while the other hung off. Taira was kissing Ryuusuke feverishly and then suddenly ceased. An unappealing thought occurred to the guitarist: for some reason the silence seemed…silenter?

"Shit, Saku's done his shower. Get off me." Taira unnecessarily informed Ryuusuke who was already clambering to his knees. Saku came into the room just as Taira was scootching into a sitting position on the couch. Even though Saku hadn't seen anything, it was still painfully obvious what they were doing before they had detected he was finished his shower. The teenager shook his head as a school teacher would at a pair of little boys who had hurt one another in a scuffle.

"I can't leave you two alone for a minute…" he told them in a disapproving tone, and then smiled. "Well I'm off; I'll be back before 6, seeing as you all are ditching me for dinner. Oh well, I'll see if Chiba wants to hang. See ya."

Saku exited the apartment, leaving Taira questioning in his wake, "What're we doing at 6?"

"Uh," Ryuusuke started, scratching his shoulder, "going to dinner at my parents'?"

"Oh," Taira replied, his expression unreadable. "Why am I going with you?"

The two made eye contact for a long moment as Ryuusuke gave Taira time to think about it.

"Your parents found out you're in a steady relationship? So they're inviting you plus me, to meet me?"

After Ryuusuke nodded, the platinum blonde continued, "So Koyuki's going to be there too…that makes sense…but, ah…Ry, babe, have you ever brought home a guy?"

Ryuusuke shook his head, silky obsidian locks swaying with the movement.

"Taira, I'm sort of new to the whole 'being with a guy' thing…remember the Greatful Sound? That was really my first time with a guy." He sighed and nudged Taira's leg with his own.

"Hey? Do you want to do this with me? It's a big step, but I think it's in the right direction. Besides _you _met my mom before. She's not that bad."

Taira grinned confidently, but there was an underlying sense of mischief lurking about it.

"I'm fine with this. But…I think, to be safe mind you, we should get everything out of our system."

Ryuusuke snorted, "Saku's right. You can't leave us alone together."

Taira leaned forward until his breath tickled Ryuusuke's ear and said in a low voice, "I've been thinking about going down on you in the shower all day." His grin widened as he heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Shower?" Taira questioned in a voice that made it seem like he truly didn't know Ryuusuke answer. Ryuusuke confirmed in the affirmative.

"Shower."


	6. Innovation In Ovation

Taira and Ryuusuke agreed that some records must've been broken in their race to the blonde's conservative shower. The slowest part may have been adjusting the water, and even that was done in an impatient manner by Taira, who laughed loudly and squirmed in Ryuusuke's arms as the onyx haired guitarist held him from behind and planted rough kisses in between his shoulder blades.

"We actually need to wash you know," Taira tried telling Ryuusuke, who was still assaulting him with kisses. "This isn't some poor excuse to have sex while wet."

Ryuusuke's hold loosened and Taira was able to face his lover. The shower was truly only meant for one person, but two fit comfortably enough.

"Blowjob then washing? Or washing then blowjob? Decisions, decisions…" Taira teased, although even as he said it, he was beginning to run his hands down Ryuusuke's pale, lean, yet muscled torso. After a passionate kiss was shared with his bandmate, Taira sunk to his knees and was pleased to see that Ryuusuke was already almost fully hardened. He nipped at the guitarist's belly button, soothing the small red marks he made by running his tongue over them.

"Ah now we're ready for action," Taira flashed a grin up at Ryuusuke before experimentally flicking his tongue on the head of Ryuusuke's length. Ryuusuke never really understood why Taira always smiled so much during sex before now; it was because sex was fun for Taira – it wasn't a solemn affair, especially when it was the two of them together. This was the last coherent thought process Ryuusuke was able to get through before everything got so hot that his thoughts evaporated and turned to fog, whilst his brain melted.

All that he could say was a strangled moan as Taira took him into his mouth and swirled his tongue around just so. Ryuusuke thought his legs would give out and was immensely grateful for the tiled wall now supporting his back. He would've loved to watch Taira, but his cerulean eyes were sliding out of focus as waves of pleasure overtook him, the decision to close them made for him.

Once closed, his eyes were glued shut as he blindly fisted Taira's spiky blond locks. The next moan that tore out of his throat was a helpless one, but Ryuusuke had passed the point of caring. He was losing himself to the sensations Taira was creating. As he felt a familiar yet powerful pressure build, Ryuusuke was sure that he felt Taira speed up.

"Fuck, Taira, I'm gonna-" the ensuing orgasm seemed to send an electric shock through every muscle of Ryuusuke's body. He steadily slid down onto the shower floor, now at the same level as the bassist who had just rocked his world. Taira patiently watched as Ryuusuke's breathing slowly returned to normal and for the black haired man to open his eyes. Taira's smiling face was the first thing Ryuusuke saw.

"Proud of yourself?" Ryuusuke asked, Taira's smile infected him.

Rich brown eyes danced as Taira questioned, "Should I be?"

"You were amazing." Ryuusuke ruffled his lover's wet locks. "I better stand up now. My ass is getting numb and we're wasting water."

They both rose to their feet, careful not to bash into each other in the confined space.

Taira shrugged Ryuusuke's concern off, "Meh, technically we're still conserving water – seeing as it's two of us in here and not just me jacking off." Ryuusuke's mouth twitched in a grin.

"This is true." He watched as Taira picked a shampoo bottle up off the shower floor, and then confided, "Why jack yourself off when you have me to do it for you?" He pulled Taira close to him, their bodies fast together. Ryuusuke gnawed slightly at the blonde's shoulder, teeth leaving no mark on Taira's tanned skin.

"You're so goddamn addictive," Ryuusuke muttered into Taira's shoulder. Taira smiled, the statement warming him. He wasn't used to being showered with affection like this. Undergarments being thrown at him: yes. Being told that he possessed a quality of an illegal drug: no.

He whimpered despite himself when Ryuusuke began drawing little circles with deft fingers on his chest. Taira felt his bandmate's hot mouth on his neck and leaned into him as Ryuusuke's wandering hands ventured down south. Taira's grip on the shampoo bottle loosened considerably as Ryuusuke grasped a part of him. _Thank god shampoo bottles are plastic_, he thought rather stupidly as the one in his hand fell to the floor.

"Tell me Maho, who's this new girlfriend Ryuusuke has? What's she like?" Mrs. Minami questioned, her deep blue eyes focused on her youngest child. Maho was sitting on her bed, clasping a manga she'd been reading before her mother poked her head into the bedroom. Maho giggled in spite of herself, covering her mouth lightly as she did so.

Her light brown eyes gleamed in amusement as she said, "Who told you Ray had a _girlfriend_?"

"Well I overheard your boyfriend talking about Ryuusuke in a relationship when you were on your cell phone with me earlier," her mother remarked, slightly perplexed.

"And then Ray said he was bringing-"

"Mom, mom. Did he specifically say he was bringing a _girlfriend_? Did you get a name?" Maho asked sincerely.

"Well, no. That's why I came up to talk to you," her mother explained.

"Come here, mom." Maho patted a spot on the bed, indicating for her mother to sit beside her. Her mother obliged.

"I'm just going to tell you this the way it is. Ryuusuke's going out with one of his bandmates, Taira. You've probably met him before." Her mother's eyes shifted upwards and she thought for a moment. Recognition danced among her features.

"Ah yes! So where are they going?"

Maho deadpanned. She shook her head slightly, and then gave it another try, "No mom, they're_ involved_."

Her mother arched a thin eyebrow and told her daughter, "I got it the first time, kid. I was just messing around. So what does this mean? Is he just going through some experimental period or did he just find someone that really…gets him?" A dreamy look drifted onto her face and Maho knew her mother was thinking about the time she met Maho's father. She could've predicted the next words that came out of her mother's mouth. Maho knew that she would love the fact that her son was a promising guitarist in a homosexual inter-band relationship. It screamed rebellion against the odds.

"It kind of reminds me of your father and me. An intellectual heir of a powerful family-run company, and a middle class anarchist." Her mother sighed, "Well, _we_ beat the odds."

Maho rolled her eyes but inside she was glad her mother understood Ryuusuke's situation (maybe a little too much). She doubted many mothers were as supportive as her own.

"Yeah mom, and now you're a big-time agent that represents A-listers. This romance has a happy ending."

"Aw sweetie. You make me sound so important. Now I want to know more about this Taira person."

"Well he's Beck's bass guitarist," Maho started.

Her mother looked relieved, "Oh thank god he's not the drummer. I like him already."

Taira was looking over Ryuusuke/Maho's manga collection disinterestedly as his lover changed into a new set of clothes at his place.

Deciding to voice a rather awkward question that had been nagging at the back of his mind for some time, he asked, "Are we…do you think we're in a…err…a monogamous relationship?" He bit his lower lip slightly, not used to the feeling of vulnerability he was experiencing, but determined to stick it out as best as he could. Usually he wouldn't bring up this kind of thing at all, but he'd never had something this intense with anyone else before. Ryuusuke had just pulled on a fresh pair of jeans did up the zipper, fastening the button at the top. He looked at Taira and replied with his special brand of quiet confidence, "I know I am."

Taira gave an 'aw shucks' type of grin and said, "I'm glad we're on the same page."

Ryuusuke pulled on a clean blue t-shirt and told Taira, "Babe, we're on the same word." He grinned broadly. "I'm sorry. It just came to my mind. Bad joke, I know." Taira just laughed.

"That was quite possibly the corniest thing I've heard all month."

"Great. Then my job is done," Ryuusuke informed the bassist doing up his jeans after putting on a plain black leather belt before approaching Taira.

"Ready?" he inquired.

"Sure, let's go."

Usually, Ryuusuke at least had a rough idea of how his parents were going to react to something. Not this time though, which was why he was so nervous? He was going in blind, and he hated it. _Just focus on something else…anything else_, he told himself silently. He glanced at Taira who was (of course) concentrating on the road. Ryuusuke couldn't't help but notice how (ridiculous as it was, since he was _just _driving) sexy his boyfriend looked while driving. He _assumed _they should start calling each other that seeing as they _were _monogamous, but it just felt a little too gay for Ryuusuke's liking, although maybe he just had to get used to it. A devious thought struck Ryuusuke and he smirked.

"Taira?" he asked and the platinum blonde glanced at him for a moment before returning his gaze back to the road.

"Yeah?"

Ryuusuke was looking forward, out the windshield when he placed his right hand on the firm muscle that was Taira's thigh. The bassist's reaction was a wary sidelong glance.

"Have you ever had sex in your van?" Ryuusuke's hand slid slowly towards Taira's inner thigh.

"No, actually," Taira's expression was nothing less than one determination, "I'd love to play this game right now, but I'm kind of worried about meeting your parents."

"Yeah, you see, I've been meaning to tell you…" Ryuusuke started, and then stopped, obviously trying to think of how to word his next sentence, "About my parents… I'm not really worried about them reacting negatively." The guitarist's tone indicated that Taira should understand what he was getting by the way he said 'negatively'. It was the same tone of voice teacher's use when they're spelling out what they're going to say next, so that their student could beat them to it, which is similar to what Taira did.

"You mean, they're going to react too positively?" Taira question, raising both eyebrows and squinting at the same time, giving a comically odd, perplexed look.

Ryuusuke snorted, "Well they might come off a bit patronizing. I'm not promising anything, but that's how they've reacted in the past."

Taira flicked on the turn signal and repeated, "In the past?"

"Well there was the time I brought home a black girl, and then the time I brought home an Indian girl, and then the time I brought home a German girl…they just try to understand and relate too much, you know what I'm saying?"

Taira had started nodding before Ryuusuke even finished. Taira pulled in front of Ryuusuke's parent's house and parked. Both heaved a sigh before Taira said, "Well, here we go."

As they walked up the driveway, and up the concrete path that hugged the garage, Ryuusuke's cell phone went off.

"Maho?" he inquired into the phone's receiver, ceasing his trek to the front door. Taira stopped as well.

"Don't tell me that's Taira with you," Maho said, a worried tone evident in her voice.

"Yeah, why? Mom told me to bring him."

"Idiot! You didn't't even tell her it was a guy! I had-"

Well I figured you would tell her…Did you?" Ryuusuke said, infuriatingly nonchalant.

"Yes! But that's beside the point! You can't expect me to cover for you! I thought you were just going to bring a random girl-"

"Wait…Maho, where exactly are you?" Ryuusuke asked, looking up at the second floor of the house. He spotted her even before she answered. His little sister looked just as furious as she sounded and was looking right at them through her bedroom window.

"In my bedroom Ray! I told mom, but now she's going to act all accepting and understanding and we're not going to be able to talk about anything that's actually important!" Maho stressed.

Ryuusuke knew she was right but "who did you think I was going to bring?" he asked.

Maho lowered her voice to make sure only Ryuusuke could hear. Out her window, she could see Taira beside her brother, expectantly yet patiently. _God, why does he have to be so good? _Maho asked herself. Taira was so great for her brother, but with every step they took, she was positive Ryuusuke was going to do something retarded.

"You _never _bring your dates home to meet mom and dad. Why Taira?"

Taira watched as his boyfriend bickered on the phone with his sister. Ryuusuke paced back and forth, stopping at times. He knew they were talking about him, so he didn't't bother listening in on the conversation. Taira's philosophy was that he already knew everything about himself, so he didn't't need to hear what others said about him.

The bleach blonde wished however, that Ryuusuke would at least be facing the door when his mother answered it, and not his back turned squabbling with his younger sister. Unfortunately, that _wasn't _the case. Taira smiled politely and greeted Ryuusuke's mother when she opened the front door. Her face ever the picture of one who was happily surprised as Taira introduced himself.

"Hi, Mrs. Minami, I'm Taira Yoshiyuki. I believe we've met before, but I've never really introduced myself."

Relief washed over him when he heard Ryuusuke snap his cell phone shut.

"Hey Mom, long time no see." Ryuusuke moved to give his mother a warm hug. When he moved away, Mrs. Minami invited them in. Taira slipped off his sneakers as Ryuusuke did the same.

Both winced when the Minami matriarch hollered up the stairs, "Maho! Your brother and his boyfriend are here!"

Ryuusuke tossed a sidelong glance at Taira to see how he reacted to being called a) Ryuusuke's and b) Ryuusuke's _boyfriend_.

Before the platinum blonde caught him, Taira looked as if he was on the fence about the matter. Once he gathered his lover was watching him however, he allowed a slight smile to play across his lips.

"You two came just in time for dinner," Mrs. Minami remarked, regarding both men smilingly, "your father should be arriving any moment now." The light brown haired woman disappeared into the kitchen as both Maho and Koyuki appeared at the bottom of the starts that led to the second floor of the house.

"Hey Taira," Maho greeted the blonde calmly, as if she hadn't been criticizing her older brother for bringing him to dinner moments ago. He wasn't a bit surprised at the way Koyuki regarded him though. _Almost as if_…Taira started to dismiss the thought forming, but then gave it some more consideration. Koyuki was regarding him in an awkward combination of the formality and respect one received when one was their friend's significant other, with the 'we're practically brothers' attitude the entire band had touted after touring the USA together. And the younger man hadn't even said a word yet.

"So what have you guys been up to?" Ryuusuke questioned in an amused tone that suggested he thought he already knew. Koyuki slightly blushed, and Maho scowled.

"Don't be a perv, Ray," she told him. Ryuusuke smirked.

"We _were _going over the designs Chiba came up with for the band t-shirts…," she explained defensively. Her expression softened considerably when she saw who was entering the front door. "Hey dad," Maho casually greeted her father.

"Hello," he replied, giving a warm smile to the bunch who were still collectively gathered in the front hall. Confusion introduced itself as he removed his footwear, though the smile remained.

"Am I being Punk'd?" he asking jokingly, referencing the reality show. "Hi Taira. How's it going? I haven't seen you in a while."

Ryuusuke knew then and there that his father was going to be less than happy about the news he was about to bestow upon him.

Mr. Minami continued, "Now _I _was under the impression that I was going to meet my son's current significant other tonight, but I'm guessing she was busy seeing as Ryuusuke dragged you over here. That's your van I take it?"

A polite smile graced Taira's face as he continued the news-stalling small talk. Maho and Koyuki were watching the two converse as one would a mound of dirt where an unstable landmine was hiding. Maho shot several loaded glances at Ryuusuke. The ebony haired man didn't notice, too distracted by the useless alibis and their inevitability doomed outcomes.

"So really, why _are _you here?" Mr. Minami asked, obviously anticipating an amusing tale of sorts, "Or should I be asking my son?"

Taira turned his head in Ryuusuke's direction, awaiting some guidance, assistance, or whatever Ryuusuke could offer. However, when the guitarist finally opened his mouth, his mother's voice cut him off.

"Oh sweetie, you're home!" Mrs. Minami remarked, materializing in the doorway, heading to the dining room, "And I see you've met Ray's _boyfriend_!" Her grin widened as she raised her fist and stuck up a pink finger. _For a woman who grew up in Northern California, she sure is Asian, _Ryuusuke thought with some semblance of humour. Mr. Minami frowned, looking at Taira, obviously realizing the actual reason the bass player from his son's band was present.

The look was mostly filled with disbelief, and his following words confirmed this, "Nooo…are you serious?" He smiled.

Ryuusuke cocked a thin jet-black eyebrow. This wasn't how he expected his father to take this at all. Then again, he didn't know what to expect, but this definitely was not it.

"Yeah dad. Taira and I are together."

"Oh I get it. This is one of those phases some bands go through-"

"What?" Ryuusuke asked, cutting off his father. He didn't want to hear what the man said next. "What do you mean 'it's a phase'?"

"Son, you're not gay…" Mr. Minami told him, as if her were pointing out something painfully obvious.

"Well I'm not sure about that. All I know is I'm in love with Taira," Ryuusuke told his father in a serious tone, "and if that makes me _gay_, then I guess I am." The finality of his own voice made him wince. This wasn't what he was used to doing; sticking up for what he believed in had never come up in this section of his life before. But just because he'd never done it in quite this manner before, didn't mean he didn't know how. Even as the sensible part of his mind screamed that he couldn't reverse what he'd just said, he leaned over and pressed his lips against Taira's in a chaste kiss that was just long enough to dispel the air of 'just another round of pass the bottle'.

Mrs. Minami and Koyuki collectively gasped, and Mr. Minami raised his hands in surrender.

"Alright, alright if this is what you want."

Ryuusuke grinned triumphantly, looking at Taira. Taira had the slight blush dusting his cheeks as he returned the gaze. He'd never experienced something like this before- the kiss wasn't fiery or breathtaking, but it was more than enough to get his heart pounding for some reason. Probably because it was in front of everyone.

"Great. Let's have dinner." Mrs. Minami told everyone, attempting- and succeeding- to awkward air around them.

The rest of the night went fine, with no talk of sexuality and what not until it was time to leave. Taira hesitantly hugged Mrs. Minami goodbye, since it was the woman who engaged it. When she released him, she turned to her husband, as if expecting him to say something. Ryuusuke beat him to it.

"You can be the first person to say 'I told you so'." He pushed Taira out the door in front of him, hurrying out so he could savour getting the last word.


	7. And The Talking Leads To Touching

"Well…that was painful." Taira told him when they were safely inside his van. Ryuusuke exhaled deeply and ran a hand through his hair looking shockingly apologetic.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

Taira snorted as he started driving. "Yeah well that's the last domestic thing I'm _ever _doing with you. Ever."

"Even marriage?" The words tumbled right out of Ryuusuke's mouth before he could stop them. Taira gave Ryuusuke an incredulous look like Ryuusuke had just suggested…well, like he had just suggested marriage. This confirmed a rising fear. Not the statement itself but…

"Ry, I think maybe we're moving too fast." Taira admitted slowly, eyes watching the road intently, not wanting to see the expression on his lover's face. The atmosphere in the van changed instantaneously.

"Maybe…" Ryuusuke's voice was distant.

Taira risked a glance over at the black haired young man and saw Ryuusuke was propping his head against the window besides him. His eyes were fixated on something in the distance as a slight frown creased his brow. Taira found himself frowning too as he looked back to the street, trying to think of a way to explain all the jumbled up feelings inside him that gave him and uncomfortable sense of restlessness and malcontent. They spent the rest of the drive in the now settled silence, as rain started to fall from the starless night sky. When Taira pulled into the driveway and stopped the van, neither of them made any attempt to move. After a couple moments of stifling silence, Taira turned off the engine, which he immediately regretted. The silence grew even more suffocating without the purr of the engine.

"I just think…maybe we should…" Taira faltered, gnawing on his lower lip. He tried again. "I'm just…kinda scared," Taira finally managed to get out. "I've never been in something this _deep_." He looked at Ryuusuke, dark brown eyes begging him to understand.

The guitarist looked down at his lap as he answered, "Me neither," quietly.

"So what do we do?" Taira asked, genuinely confused. He felt so lost.

"Maybe we just need to spend some time apart," Ryuusuke suggested, sounding just as unsure as the bleach blond did. Movement was caught by his peripheral vision. He looked up from the dashboard at Taira, who was shifting out of his seat towards Ryuusuke. The bassist swung his leg carefully over his bandmate's lap and settled himself there, gripping the thin fabric of Ryuusuke's t-shirt and ducking his head into the crook of the guitarist's neck. Ryuusuke responded by placing his hand s on Taira's back running his hands up and down the platinum blonde's back, the friction slightly lifting Taira's shirt.

"That's just it. I don't want to spend time apart. I don't want these feelings to go away and I don't…" Taira cleared his throat before continuing, "I don't want this to end."

"Who's to say it has to?" Ryuusuke told him in a soft yet reassuring tone. He turned his head so that he was feeling the side of Taira's neck and began laying slow kisses down it.

"I love you so much I don't know what to do," Ryuusuke admitted against the tanned flesh of Taira's neck. "_That's _what scares me." Taira pulled away slightly to examine Ryuusuke's face, confusion written all over his own.

"What? What do you mean?"

"That I'll mess up and you won't love me anymore." The ebony haired guitarist really was putting his inner-self on display tonight. Something resembling a grin danced along Taira's lips, which were soon on Ryuusuke's [Oh sheesh, how did I know that was going to happen Kathleen as soon as a I read "Taira's lips". And you know what? I'm willing to bet, even before I read more on the page that they end up having sex. Don't they Kathleen? DON'T THEY!?!]. Ryuusuke felt the grin, just as he felt his lover's tongue invade his partially open mouth. Just as he felt the blond on top of him, give a little gasp as he ran his calloused fingertips up Taira's warm bare back underneath his t-shirt. Ryuusuke left Taira's mouth to trail lavish kisses down his neck. Taira tiled his head back to open himself up to the attack and slide his hands up Ryuuske's chest to reside on the guitarist's shoulders. He couldn't hold back a shudder as Ryuusuke nipped at one of his personal weak spots, below his ear.

"Fuck, Ry. Why don't you just rape me?" He smirked, obviously referencing Kurt Cobain (His number one rock idol). Ryuusuke moved to take off Taira's shirt and the bleach blonde aided him by lifting his arms. Ryuusuke threw the black t-shirt into one of the back seats. The lead guitarist of Beck took to marking the newly revealed territory that was Taira's bare chest.

"It's not rape if you're willing," Ryuusuke told him, flicking one of Taira's nipples with the tip of his tongue before latching on to it with his mouth. Taira released a breathy moan, his thoughts fading from his mind as he was overcome by the sensations his bandmate was incurring. He'd always found it difficult to form any intelligent remarks while engaging in sexual activities.

Nevertheless, when Ryuusuke removed his mouth from Taira's flesh, the bassist took advantage of the reprieve and replied to Ryuusuke's comment with, "I _am _willing," in a resigned tone that suggested he was almost disappointed in himself, if not for the fact that there was a devious grin on his face. Ryuusuke noticed, perhaps for the first time, that having sex with Taira relieved a dull ache inside his chest that was associated with the fact that he was in a love deeper than he'd ever been in before. Ryuusuke's attention turned back to Taira, who looked like he was trying to remove his shirt and unbuckle his belt at the same time. He struggled with this for a moment before reaching the conclusion that it was nearly impossible. The blonde reached back instinctively, still working on Ryuusuke's belt as Ryuusuke himself removed his own brown t-shirt. As soon as both objectives had been completed, Taira placed his hands on each side of Ryuusuke's face, guiding him into a passionate kiss as he pressed up against him. Ryuusuke's hands slid slowly down Taira's chest, his deft fingers tugging at Taira's loose worn jeans. Once he had undone the bassist's studded belt, he was able to slip the jeans off of Taira's narrow hips. The jeans ceased to drop at mid-thigh.

Taira broke the kiss to laugh. "_This_," he told a slightly dejected looking Ryuusuke, "Is probably why I haven't had sex in my van yet."

"Well we _are _in the front seat," Ryuusuke reasoned, "Wanna move to the back?"

Taira's already slightly flushed features took on a pensive expression. He looked around at his surrounding. The van that Bek used to get from A to B was already a pretty confined space, but the fact that they were so openly visible (even though it was dark and rainy outside) was exhilarating for Taira. He looked back at his lover, who was eyeing him curiously. The blonde flashed a mischievous grin as he ground his hips into Ryuusuke's.

"Nah I'd rather stay here." He planted a row of kisses along the jaw line of Beck's lead guitarist and repeated his previous action before mentioning, "doesn't it kinda turn you on that we're in the front seat where _anyone _could see us?" The tone of Taira's voice was almost a whisper and it was so unbelievably sexy that Ryuusuke could only released a breathy moan in response. Taira laughed a little and then recommenced kissing Ryuusuke, slowly moving down to his collarbone. Ryuusuke arched up in response.

Quite suddenly, the back door of the van opened and Chiba's voice barked, "-should really lock this thing if we keep all of our equipment in it half the time."

Both Taira and Ryuusuke froze. Saku's voice cut through the air, "Don't worry about it Chiba. They're probably just in the house." The van lurched as Chiba (as it was undoubtedly him) climbed into the van to retrieve Saku's drum kit.

And that's when Taira knew they were screwed.

"What's up Chiba?" Taira poked his head out to see his curly haired friend staring at him shocked.

"Sweet Jesus Christ on a stick! I didn't see-," words stopped coming out although his mouth stayed open. Taira swore the click in the rapper's rain was audible. He threw a sheepish grin Saku's direction who (as Taira belatedly realized) had the same dumbfounded look on his face. It was kind of like a 'yeah we believed you but now we definitely do'. Taira felt his already flushed face go even redder. He spotted his t-shirt beside Chiba's foot and decided it was probably his best way out.

"Er, Chiba, can you pass me my shirt? It's right by your foot…" Chiba blinked, then bent over in his already crouched position to pick up the shirt. He warily moved forward to hand it to Taira, Ryuusuke finally coming into view.

"Sorry for walking in on you guys… I didn't-"

"It's fine, Chiba, can you just let us get dressed now? Ryuusuke asked rather coldly; the comment forced Taira to notice that Chiba had noticed that Ryuusuke was in the middle of removing Taira's pants. To think that one of his best friends had found out he bottomed _this _way was embarrassing, so he focused on turning his shirt right side out. The sound the back doors on the van made when closed seemed to echo in Taira's mind. Before he put on his t-shirt, Ryuusuke kissed his shoulder, causing the blonde to look up at him with chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm sorry." Taira told him distracted. Whatever Ryuusuke was going to say out of humiliation (which he probably would've regretted later) dissipated when he saw the expression on Taira's face.

"Don't worry about it babe," Ryuusuke said in an attempt to be comforting. "It's not like they didn't knpow…" the guitarist trailed off as Taira opened the passenger door and hopped out and off of his lap, hiking up his pants as he did so.

"C'mon. They deserve an explanation." The platinum blonde answered, smoothing out his shirt and walking over to the fishing hut.

"It was kinda surreal to catch them in the act like that," Saku admitted to Chiba as they sat in the fishing hut, waiting for Taira and Ryuusuke. As they sat waiting however, the phone began to ring. Saku and Chiba looked at each other.

"Who the hell calls at 11:30 at night?" Chiba exclaimed, crawling over to where the phone took residence on the floor in curiousity.

"Hello?" Chiba asked into the receiver.

"_Hey, is Ray there?_" A male voice said on the other end in English. Chiba blinked in confusion. Chiba tried his best to answer.

"Uh, Ray? _Yes _er, just a second," covering the receiver with his hand, he told Saku, "It's some English-speaking guy! I hardly understand a word he's saying!"

Luckily Taira entered the room, shortly accompanied by Ryuusuke.

"Ryuusuke! There's some English-speaking dude on the phone! Help!"

Ryuusuke crossed the floor to where Chiba was panicking. The rapped gladly relinquished the phone.

"_Hello it's Ray_." Ryuusuke spoke into the phone in fluent English.

"_Ray? Man, it's Eddie! Long time no see eh_?"


	8. Shut Your Eyes And Sing To Me

"Dying Breed is coming to Japan?!" Saku, Chiba and Taira exclaimed. Ryuusuke gave them a tired look as he corrected them.

"No, just Eddie. Apparently the band's having a little disagreement and he's coming _here_, to get away from it."

"Oh," Taira remarked, being the first to notice that that meant they weren't supposed to go all fanboy-ish on Eddie when he came.

"So when is he coming over?" Saku asked.

"Tomorrow."

…

Ryuusuke gave the highway a harsh stare as he drove to the airport with the band in tow. He had offered to drive because Taira had stayed the night and was exhausted enough without having to wake up at seven in the morning to drive to the airport. He looked back at the blonde and wasn't surprised to see Taira's head lolled onto Saku's shoulder, eyes closed and mouth slightly parted. He turned back to look at the road, focusing on what to say when Eddie arrived. _What is he even going to do here?_ Ryuusuke wondered vaguely. It wasn't a real concern though. They'd find something to do. The only thing Ryuusuke was really worried about was paparazzi, but he figured he couldn't really control that so he would just deal with it when it came. In all honesty, Ryuusuke actually was kind of excited about Eddie's visit. When they finally pulled into the airport parking lot, Ryuusuke couldn't help but get a little giddy.

"I'll just close my eyes when I'm walking. You can lead me around," Taira informed Ryuusuke sleepily as the guitarist clasped his hand.

"Fine by me," Ryuusuke concluded, "just open your eyes and pretend you're awake when Eddie gets off the plane." Taira nodded, his eyes already shut.

"Don't you think it's strange how natural Ryuusuke and Taira act with each other?" Koyuki expressed to Saku as they fell back slightly so the others wouldn't hear. Saku shook his head with confidence.

"No, why shouldn't it seem natural? What they feel for each other is real; they're just behaving like a normal couple," the drummer pointed out. "Actually, they're a lot better than some of the couple I've hung out with. They're truly pioneers in the perfection of public intimacy."

Chiba drifted back to walk beside Saku and said with a smirk, "What romantic crap am I hearing? It's coming from this direction, I'm sure of i-" Saku cut Chiba off with a punch to the rapper's right bicep.

"Hey!" Chiba responded, pouting and rubbing his now sore shoulder. "I'm just glad things aren't all awkward today."

Saku shot Chiba a look like he wanted the rambunctious young man to shut up. Koyuki looked at the two confusedly, "Why? What happened?"

Chiba's knowing grin fell off of his face as his eyes widened.

"I thought Saku just told you?" Chiba told Koyuki like it was the rhythm guitarist's fault for his blabbing.

"No?" Koyuki phrased it like a question, like maybe Saku _did _mention it and he'd missed it.

Thankfully, they made it to where they were supposed to meet Eddie, so all talk of inter-band relationships ceased as they sat in the seats provided.

"Wake up," Ryuusuke murmured to Taira who lifted his head off of the guitarist's shoulder. Ryuusuke smiled at the bleach blonde's ruffled hair. It didn't take him long to spot Eddie.

"_Hey Ray_!" Eddie was all smiles, even at seven in the morning. "_I see you brought the band_."

Ryuusuke grinned, "_Yeah, well I figured I should bring a welcoming party_."

"_I_ _shouldn't really be speaking in English then should I_?" Eddie told him, a secretive smile seeping onto his face.

"_What're you talking about_?" Ryuusuke asked, although he was pretty sure he knew they answer, but he didn't believe it.

"I've brushed up on my Japanese a little. Actually a lot," Ryuusuke looked at Taira to see his reaction. The blonde had sufficiently woken up when Eddie had first arrived and now his eyes had widened. When his gaze returned to Eddie, he found the guitarist of Dying Breed observing his welcoming party. This was _definitely _going to be interesting.

"Don't worry. You'll get plenty of practice with this group. Usually they don't shut up." Saku and Taira smirked and Chiba attempted to look offended. Koyuki's facial expression didn't change and Ryuusuke knew it was because the teen was probably spacing out.

"I should probably introduce you to everyone," Ryuusuke added. It was then that he realized somewhere along the way Taira had let go of his hand; Ryuusuke assumed it probably occurred when Eddie arrived.

"This is Taira Yoshiyuki, Beck's bass player."

"Hey. You can just call me Taira." The bleach blonde gave a little wave. Eddie's smile widened.

"Nice to meet you. I've heard you're quite talented." Eddie jerked his head slight in Ryuusuke's direction. "I've also heard you've got quite a loyal female fan base." Eddie's light blue eyes twinkled when Taira gave him an 'aw-shucks' smile.

"Not really…" he insisted, but Eddie waved it away.

"Dude, if you've got it, flaunt it."

Ryuusuke couldn't help but a feel a twinge of jealousy towards the lead singer of Dying Breed as a blush rose to Taira's cheeks. He, on the other hand, subconsciously crossed his arms. _I hope he doesn't think he can seduce Taira- Wait. What am I thinking? Eddie's straight, _the sable haired guitarist told himself. "Anyway, this is Chiba Tsunemi, our lead vocalist."

"It's great to meet you. You can call me Chiba."

"Yuji Sakurai, our drummer," Ryuusuke continued to list.

"Just call me Saku. Your music is inspirational."

"And Yukio Tanaka, our rhythm guitarist," Ryuusuke announced.

"Hi, it's an honour to meet you," Koyuki told Eddie hurriedly. Eddie's eyes lit up.

"So you're the one that Matt has a huge man-crush on!" the dark blonde exclaimed. "I'm sorry, but whenever anyone mentioned that documentary Jim Walsh did, or even Jim Walsh in general, Matt talks about you."

"Wow, I didn't know I influenced him that much…" Koyuki answered, honestly flabbergasted.

"C'mon, we should grab your bags," Ryuusuke told Eddie, walking towards the luggage carrousel. After retrieving Eddie's baggage, Ryuusuke led the way to the van. The others had fallen back so he could talk to Eddie alone and catch up. Eddie's first words when they were along surprised him to say the least.

"_Don't freak out on me or anything, but your bass player is really hot._" Ryuusuke's brow furrowed slightly, but otherwise his expression only conveyed surprise. On the inside, however, Ryuusuke _was_ freaking out. Though not for the reasons probably though he would be. This was bad; one of Taira's idols was interested in him. Eddie, the incredibly famous rock star, was into _his__ boyfriend_. It didn't take a genius to figure out who Taira would pick if Eddie decided to act on his attraction. Inspirational, famous musician, vs. broke guitarist with commitment issues (Ryuusuke failed to note that his lover had commitment issues as well…). The situation could only be worse if it was Kurt Cobain in Eddie's stead. Should he just tell Eddie that he was kinda sorta going out with Taira? Or would that just make the unknowing bleach blonde more desirable?

"Ray? Dude, are you ok?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ryuusuke replied.

"So, do you know if he'd be interested?" the dark blonde guitarist asked earnestly. "Or is he straight?"

_Yeah, he'd definitely be __interested._ Ryuusuke thought bitterly.

"Err-" Ryuusuke was fortunately cut off as they reached the van and the subject of their conversation interrupted them.

"I'm sorry to cut in," Taira started, looking from Ryuusuke to Eddie. "But do you want me to drive?" Ryuusuke looked at Eddie who was wearing an amused expression. Ryuusuke's finger itched.

"If you want to babe," the guitarist answered, seeing Taira immediately relax. _Wait, what?_ Ryuusuke thought dumbly, even as he climbed into the driver's seat of the van. Koyuki claimed the passenger's seat as Chiba and Saku clambered at to the back bench seat, claiming their usual seats, leaving the middle for Ryuusuke and Eddie.

Ryuusuke was _still _trying to wrap his head around the fact that Taira was _relieved_ when Ryuusuke had called him 'babe'. Did this mean Taira was worried about Ryuusuke cheating on _him_?

"So are you going to stop at the fishing pond with Ryuusuke?" Saku asked Eddie. The vocalist shook his head.

"Nah, I'm staying at a hotel nearby," Eddie answered.

Saku nodded, and Eddie continued, "If you wouldn't mind, could you drop me off at the hotel now? I need to sign in and take care of some things."

"Yeah, sure." Taira replied. He knew the area pretty well since he delivered pizzas part-time when we wasn't working construction. "What hotel?"

"The Hilton."

….

Ryuusuke observed his partner skimming through his record collection from the doorway. It was just the two of them, alone at the fishing pond. This was rare moment since the bleach blonde was unaware of his presence. As far as Taira was concerned, Ryuusuke was still outside, seeing Koyuki off. Ryuusuke grinned; Taira was so cute when he was by himself. He had his black rectangular rimmed reading glasses on so he could read the fine print on the spines of the record casings. His head was tilted so that he could read the titles more easily as well. Taira smiled and pulled out a record, chocolate orbs shining as he examined the cover of the album. Ryuusuke recognized it instantly; it was Lynard Skynard. Taira walked over to the record player on his knees. Ryuusuke took this as a chance to sneak up on the bass player since his back was fully turned.

"Lynard Skynard, eh?" Ryuusuke remarked, noting Taira's slight jump.

"Yeah," Taira answered, turning his head to look at the guitarist, who took a cross-legged seating position beside him.

"Can-," Taira cleared his throat, "Can I talk to you about something?" There was something in his eyes that Ryuusuke had never seen before. It made him was to hold Taira close to him, and never let go. 'It' was insecurity. Ryuusuke settled for tracing Taira's jaw line with his middle finger slowly. Taira reached up to grab the hand and held it in his own, holding it in his lap and tracing circles and nonsensical patterns on Ryuusuke's palm.

"When I was around sixteen," the blonde began, staring fixatedly at Ryuusuke palm, "I was crazy for this girl. Her name was Tatsuki. We went out for a year. She was always telling me to open up more to her… I tried, I really did. But one day, I guess she was really frustrated. She broke up with me." Taira swallowed visibly. "Her last words stuck with me. She told me I'd be better off alone." He looked up at Ryuusuke, who had been clinging to every word.

"Even as a child I kept people at a distance. I always figured my silence is my self-defence. A way to keep myself from being hurt but," his gaze dropped back, "I don't want to be alone. Especially when I've found you…If my silence makes you leave, then that would be my worst mistake." Ryuusuke's awe-filled gaze fell down to his hand, still palm-up in Taira's lap. He then realized that Taira had been tracing random invisible patterns on his palm. He'd hardly even noticed.

"Oh Taira," was all Ryuusuke said, grabbing the platinum blonde by the wrist with the hand that was sitting in his lover's lap. He pulled Taira close to him so that the blonde's back was fast against his chest. Ryuusuke wrapped his arms around Taira's midriff and his head in the crook of the bassist's neck.

"I would never force you to open up to me- nor would I hold it against you if you didn't. There are something's no one has the right to know." Taira let his head roll back and give Ryuusuke a sidelong glance before looking at the ceiling. He gave it a content smile and Ryuusuke's spirits rose with the knowledge that he had said the right thing.

"I feel like an idiot," Taira confided.

"What? Why?" Ryuusuke asked, his breath tickling Taira's ear slightly.

"I thought you didn't want Eddie to know about our relationship. That I would have to hide my feelings for you from him. It made me feel…" Taira paused trying to think of the appropriate word to label the emotion he had been feeling.

"Frustrated? Annoyed? Pissed off?" Ryuusuke helped.

"Ashamed." Taira finally answered.

"Ashamed? Why?" Ryuusuke asked, genuinely concerned.

"Because I thought you were embarrassed about it. But looking back on it, it was pretty stupid."

"Emotions don't make sense." Ryuusuke nuzzled Taira's shoulder. Tilting his head, he laid a few soft kisses along Taira's neck. Taira began to tangle his fingers in Ryuusuke's silky black hair. Ryuusuke's hand began to slide up the black and white horizontally striped shirt, feeling up Taira's prominent abs.

"Wait a second," Taira told Ryuusuke who let go of the blonde as he leaned forward, crawling over to the record player.

Ryuusuke grinned; he just had to comment, "Nice ass."

"Thank you." Taira responded; Ryuusuke could hear the grin in his voice.

"What are you doing?" Ryuusuke asked, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"I'm putting on a record. I wanted to listen to 'Freebird'".

So Ryuusuke was right. "You're so cute," he told the blonde. Taira turned around, a clear 'you've got to be kidding me' look plastered on his face.

"What? How?"

"With your 'Freebird' and your glasses…" Ryuusuke told him. "I love your glasses." Taira was facing him now, the song already floating out of the speakers. Standing on his knees, he pulled the shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor beside him. He left his glasses on. He unzipped and unbuttoned his dark denim jeans but left them on. The playful grin he had on his face was replaced with a sultry smirk as he crawled seductively on his hands and knees towards Ryuusuke who was watching him intently.

When Taira reached Ryuusuke he leaned in, engaging the man in a slow, smouldering kiss. Ryuusuke leaned back slowly, not breaking the kiss. He didn't even have to ask permission as Taira's mouth opened for him willingly, letting the guitarist's tongue slide over his own.

As Ryuusuke straightened out his legs so they weren't crossed under Taira (a position that was uncomfortable for the both of them), the bassist moved his hands from the tatami mat floor to the guitarist's hips, from there he ran his hands up Ryuusuke's sides, underneath his shirt. Ryuusuke got the message loud and clear, moving his hands from Taira's narrow hips to the blonde's warm bare back and switched positions by rolling to the left. After some shifting, he broke the kiss (which was a lot easier said than done) and straightened up so he could remove his plain black t-shirt. Even as he was lifting the shirt over his head, Taira ran his hands down his torso. Ryuusuke threw his shirt over beside Taira's and bent down to pluck Taira's glasses off his face, commenting "I love the glasses babe, but I don't want to break them." He leaned over to place them on a shelf before undoing his pants.

Taira laughed, "That's a good point. I was slightly worried about that as well." Ryuusuke lowered his head to lick along Taira's jaw line. God he loved that jaw line. He continued to lay harsher kisses than before down Taira's neck. One of Taira's hands found its way to the nape of Ryuusuke neck, his fingered entwining in the smooth strands of the guitarist's shoulder length hair. The other hand dragged blunt nails down Ryuusuke's back as he nibbled on a spot he knew was sensitive. Travelling lower, he began to plant lavish kisses down Taira's chest. The blonde practically mewled when Ryuusuke reached his stomach.

By the time Ryuusuke slid Taira's jeans off, the bassist's breathing had already become erratic. He'd slung a forearm over his eyes in an attempt to brace himself for what he knew was coming next, judging from the look in his lover's deep blue eyes. It did little to help though as a moan forced itself out of him when he felt the wet heat of Ryuusuke's mouth surround his cock.

"Jesus Christ," Taira groaned. Ryuusuke fought the urge to laugh as he continued his ministrations.

"Fuck me," Taira drawled as Ryuusuke removed his mouth. Taira arched his back, needful.

"I plan on it," the guitarist said, fully removing Taira's boxers. He pulled down his own pants and boxers, but in the rush his jeans caught on his ankles. It didn't really matter anyway.

"You're such a cocky bastard." Taira commented, watching Ryuusuke as he unceremoniously grabbed the bottle of lubricant off the nearby shelf. Ryuusuke knew the blonde liked it rough, but the guitarist felt better using lube. Ryuusuke applied the substance liberally before sinking two of his fingers past the tight ring of muscle. Taira gave a slight gas at the welcome intrusion, rocking his hips, practically riding Ryuusuke's fingers.

"Ray," he panted, eyes glazed and half lidded, "I _need _you."

Watching his lover practically fuck his fingers was more than enough of an indication that Ryuusuke needn't prep him anymore. Taking his gingers out Ryuusuke positioned himself and slowly entered Taira, who immediately wrapped his lithe legs around his band mate's waist, pulling him closer. Ryuusuke took the hint and sped up the pace, a low groan escaping him. Each thrust grew more frantic and Taira rose to meet every one of them. Ryuusuke was losing himself now, the world seemingly existing only of this moment as he helped Taira hook his legs on his shoulders. Taira gave a delirious whine as he came. It wasn't long at all before Ryuusuke came, buried inside Taira. He lowered himself shakily to rest on his lover, whose legs slid off of him. Both lay wordless on the tatami mat floor until they recaptured their breath. Ryuusuke let out a deep breath, frowning in contemplation.

"That was-" he started, the hesitating to find an accurate descriptive word.

Usually Taira wasn't as submissive. He always found a way to share the power and not let Ryuusuke take control completely, be it by being on top of Ryuusuke or teasing him. This time was different though. Taira had let Ryuusuke take the reins completely.

"That was amazing man. We should do this more often." Taira commented, scanning the room for the location of what happened to be his favourite pair of boxers. The bleach blonde slowly gathered himself up onto his feet and grabbed the short and sauntered towards the bathroom, promising to bring a cloth the clean Ryuusuke off.

That disconcerting feeling was still lingering in the guitarist's gut as his lover left the room. He finally managed to pinpoint what it was that made him feel so bad; it felt like Taira had given up, like there wasn't any fight left. This should have been a good thing, since what Taira has been fighting was his fear of loving and needing someone completely. But now the weight of the responsibility that came with _loving_, the one Taira needed to survive was drowning on Ryuusuke

Taira emerged carrying a damp cloth and tossed it to Ryuusuke. When their eyes met, a lazy smile crossed the bleach blonde's features; he never got tired of gazing into those deep blue eyes. Their peaceful moment of after glow was disturbed when someone tapped on the screen door. Taira couldn't help but smile as Ryuusuke tried to do two things at once- pull up his jeans and clean himself up- in a rushed manner. The tapping grew more insistence.

"Don't worry, I'll get it." Taira assure him, walking towards the door. Ryuusuke opened his mouth to point out the blonde was still only wearing his boxers, and then closed it, figuring he already knew that.


	9. Gravity Plays Favourites

"You're a slut," Maho accused him, trying to cover her embarrassment with the harsh words. Taira saw right through it and grinned at the light blush dusting Ryuusuke's sister's cheeks. "At least put on a shirt," she continued, "no one wants to see _that_." She motioned towards the markings Ryuusuke had left on his chest. "Where's Eddie? That's actually the only reason I'm here. I don't really want to get involved with whatever you two are doing. No offense."

She followed him inside the house reluctantly as he replied, "You mean your own little sex muffin didn't tell you?"

Maho cringed and hollered, "Ryuusuke! What did you do to Taira?!"

Taira started laughing, and only laughed harder when he saw Ryuusuke's perplexed (and slightly frightened) face.

"What're you talking about?" he asked.

"I was just bugging Maho." Taira explained, laughter subsiding. Ryuusuke was now standing, having been in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head when he heard Maho yell his name.

"Oh. As you probably can tell," Ryuusuke was looking at Maho as Taira gathered his clothing, "Eddie's not here."

"Wow, brother. My observation skills aren't _that _bad."

Taira watched the two interact and smiled to himself, noting the similarities, not only their physical appearances, but also their mannerisms. Most people thought that Maho was the crazier one, but from experience Taira knew that wasn't the case. Taira found himself blinking a lot quite suddenly, a feeling he could only compare with drowsiness coming over him. But it wasn't that, for it lacked the relaxation he acquainted with being sleepy. Darkness was slowly creeping along the edges of his vision; gaining territory. A belated sense of panic caught up to him as he realized he was about to pass out.

"I'm going-"

The darkness consumed him along with his eyesight.

____

Maho swore Ryuusuke was at Taira's side before the bass player hit the floor. It was likely watching a movie as she just stood there, an observer. Ryuusuke tightly patted Taira's cheek.

"Dude? Taira…" he voiced, trying not to let the panic rising inside of him seep into his voice. He shook his band mate a little, hoping to rouse him. When Taira didn't stir, Ryuusuke put his ear close to the platinum blonde's mouth. No breath escaped. It was then that Ryuusuke had to fight furiously to keep that same panic from overwhelming him to the point where he couldn't function.

"Maho, we need to call an ambulance. Now."

After Maho called emergency services with a wavering voice that made Ryuusuke's chest constrict almost painfully, she contacted Chiba, Saku and Koyuki.

Though out all the chaos, Maho calling the band, the ambulance, the paramedics, everything, Ryuusuke forgot about two very important people; Taira's mother and step-father. He realized this as her numbly watched Taira, on a stretcher, lifted into the back of the ambulance. He also realized, automatically following the paramedics into the emergency vehicle (even though he was uninvited) that it was probably himself who should call them. If it had been anyone but himself on the stretcher, Taira probably would have been the one to point out shutting down emotionally to avoid pain was also a trait shared between the two Minami siblings. As it was, his lover was sitting blankly at his side, watching the paramedic as they desperately tried to figure out what exactly was wrong with Taira. A mixture of horror and disbelief struck him like a punch to the head when he saw the paramedics when they took paddles off the wall of the ambulance. Ryuusuke had watched too many hospital television shows not to know what they were. As the words 'heart failure' belatedly made it into his head, so did the paramedics solid but determined statement of "clear." Taira's body jerked lifelessly on the stretcher.

Ryuusuke became terrifyingly aware that the only reason they did that to people was because they were trying to get their heart to start beating again. The sudden realization coupled with the surreal sight before him startled a chocked sob from him.

When they finally got to the hospital, the paramedics reluctantly stopped him following while the nurses and a couple of doctors took over.

"I'm sorry, but we need you to stay here," the one who had been administering epinephrine to Taira told him, indicated the reception room to the right. The almost perfect balance of authority and sympathy in the man's voice was sickening. Ryuusuke simply nodded as the man (a thirty-something, five foot nothing) continued to give him several forms on a clipboard, informing him that he'd "be best just to sit tight and fill out what you can."

When his sister and Koyuki, Saku and Chiba arrived, they found the guitarist doing just that, or at least trying to. In reality, he hadn't even started on the stack of forms. Right behind Chiba were Taira's mother and step-father. It was obvious that Mrs. Taira had been crying. It made Ryuusuke was to sob and cling to her in the worst way, seeing someone that actually looked like they were suffering the way he was.

Instead he stood up, handing the clipboard to Taira's mother and explaining in a hoarse voice, "They gave these to me to fill put but you definitely know more about him than me."

He couldn't help but give a pathetic sounding sniff. The fact that he didn't know his best friend's blood type shamed him.

"Thank you Ryuusuke." Taira's step-father told him as Taira's mother moved to sit.

Although the motions playing out the group's faces ranged from Chiba's deeply disturbed scowl to Maho's tear stained worried expression, it was confusion that was most outstanding.

It took Mrs. Taira around 10 minutes to fill out the forms and hand them in. It then took around an hour and a half before a solemn faced doctor emerged calling for "the immediate family of Yoshiyuki Taira."

Ryuusuke regarded the woman as a deadly mixture of fear and dread threatened to pull him under. What would happen to him if…if Taira was…

Mrs. Taira and her husband retreated into a more private hallway. The breathless heartbroken wail was all it took for Ryuusuke to figure out that he would never be able to see Taira's eyes light up when he looked at him. He would never be able to hold Taira in his arms in the middle of the night again, to feel his heart beating through his back; to watch Taira play his Stingray again; to discuss Beck's future;_ their _future…again….never again.

Ryuusuke squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't think straight. He felt as though he was dissolving. Taira's step-father's word's barely reached him. Ryuusuke didn't want to hear them anyway. They only served as confirmation that the one person in the world who was everything he needed, his everything, was no longer existent.

"Yoshi's dead. It was some freak heart failure that only occurs in one of every-" Ryuusuke had stopped, listening completely. Taira wasn't 'one of every' anything. He was…he was…

Ryuusuke didn't remember the drive home. What he did remember was collapsing on the floor of Taira and Saku's apartment and crying so hard he felt like he was breaking. He clutched at the hardwood floor like he was going to fall off and hit the ceiling. Saku knelt beside him, fighting back tears of his own in an effort to effectively take care of the shattering being crying his heart out on the living room floor. Tentatively he ran his hand lightly over Ryuusuke's back. Ryuusuke did nothing in response, so lost in grief that he didn't even feel it. Saku continued to motion, even after his hand went numb from the constant friction.

The most agonizing part of watching his band mate mourn was when he ran out of tears. Ryuusuke hiccoughed and coughed. It sounded as if he was drowning. Maybe he was.

After his crying jag, Ryuusuke stayed lying on the floor, but Saku stopped petting him. Ryuusuke rolled onto his back, burning holes into the ceiling with his eyes.

"Do you want something to drink? There's orange juice, milk, water and I'm pretty sure there's some apple juice left…" Saku took notice of how easily he could avoid mentioning Taira –or anyone else, really lived here. Or had. It kind of made him say 'we've got' still.

"Vodka?" Ryuusuke croaked and Saku was strongly relieved that he recognized the Ryuusuke he was dealing with.

"Not before six, sorry." Saku replied stating his and Taira's actual rule. Not that the rule had to be enforced, seeing as the two weren't into daytime drinking. 'God, it still feels like he's alive,' Saku thought, disheartened. He remembered seeing Taira lying in the hospital bed; he looked as if he was just sleeping. He remembered the sob Ryuusuke had emitted after lightly running his finger down Taira's bare chest and discovering that he was already cool to the touch. After that, Ryuusuke had left the room and Chiba had decided that Ryuusuke would need to be watched. It was a unanimous agreement that he would stay with Saku. As a result, Saku now had to bar Ryuusuke from the liquor cabinet for two hours; until six o'clock. He was preparing himself for an argument, but all he got was a hefty sigh as Ryuusuke sniffled and sat up crossing his legs mirroring the way Saku was placed on the floor.

Ryuusuke looked down at his hands, which were sitting in his lap lamely.

"What am I going to do?" His voice was barely above a whisper and the waves that embodied it made Saku's heart ache.

"You just need to take little steps," he explained, although he didn't know if the words that he had previously left his band mate's mouth were for him or not. "Just work on going to the funeral right now."

Funeral? Of course, there was going to be a funeral, he told himself silently.

"When?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"Oh." Ryuusuke leaned back to lay on the floor again, his hair slightly fanning out by his ears. Ryuusuke's gaze was distant. The reddened flesh around his deep blue eyes made them all the more vibrant and Saku took this as an indication that an older man had pent himself up in his mind again.

"What do you want for dinner?" Saku asked, sighing. A traitorous hunger revealed itself within Ryuusuke as soon as Saku mentioned the word 'dinner'.

Hungry though he was, he couldn't eat more than a couple of bites of his curry. This was when Ryuusuke discovered that losing someone you need to function didn't necessarily mean you lost the ability to function. The abilities were there, but the meaning and desire was lost. It wasn't losing a limb; it was losing the piece of your soul that embodied the limb, just as Taira was nowhere to be found, even though his body resided in the hospital morgue. Saku understood this, which was why he didn't pressure Ryuusuke to eat like his sister would; nor didn't have an endless number of questions like Koyuki might have. He just finished what he could before the desire to eat was stolen from him as well, and then returned his dishes to the sink.

Afterwards, they collectively knocked back a bottle of vodka. Not as impressive an amount consumed as Ryuusuke would have drank if he'd been alone, but enough to get them to a level of intoxication where they could at least fall asleep peacefully. Their heads were void of dreams which, perhaps, was better in a way. Dreams had a tendency to make promises no one could fulfill.


	10. You're Not Lost

Chapter 10

Saku woke up very cold on one side and very warm on the other. It wasn't an unusual state for him, seeing as he spent most his nights on the couch. What _was _unusual was the type of warmth. It wasn't couch-retaining-body-heat warmth; it was human-body-generating-own-body-heat warmth. Saku sat up with a start, taking in his surroundings as the source of heat rolled away. Saku hadn't kicked off his covers in the mid-November night, for there were no covers. He was occupying Taira's bed, or rather, his mattress. The sheets that were once on the bed were resting in a dishevelled mess in the corner of the room, as well as the pillows. Saku vaguely remembered how he had wound up here.

____

Footfalls and a looming presence made Saku stir and open his dark eyes. When he did, he took in the dark silhouette of Ryuusuke kneeling beside him.

"I can't sleep." Ryuusuke's breath still smelled strongly of vodka as it rolled over Saku's face. "It…it smells like Taira," his voice wavered; something it had been doing a lot lately. Saku got off the couch and walked into Taira's bedroom rather unsteadily. He grabbed the sheets and threw them on the floor. The pillows fell to the floor as well.

"Better?" Saku questioned. Ryuusuke looked at him as if he'd just walked on water and in the little light that shone into the room from the light into the hall.

"Can you…?" Ryuusuke started and suddenly grabbed Saku's wrist, effectively dragging the drummer onto the bed with him.

"What?"

"Just stay with me."

"Oh…yeah okay; all you had to do was ask." Saku's heart was hammering in his chest from the fear of Ryuusuke asking him for something he couldn't possibly give.

"I just did," Ryuusuke answered, lying down. Saku just shook his head and lay down beside the onyx-haired guitarist. He'd be lying if he'd said the arm Ryuusuke wrapped around him was totally unexpected, but it still surprised him. Ryuusuke's breathing evened out as he clutched Saku to him, holding on as if he was a crucifix. Saku didn't care, and as the night went on, it was surprisingly calming.

____

Ryuusuke groaned and rolled back towards Saku, eyes still closed. He nuzzled into Saku's hip.

"Do you have a hangover?" Saku asked, trying to sound nonchalant. The question was really intended to drag Ryuusuke into reality.

It did the trick.

Ryuusuke's eyes snapped open. "N-no, I don't," he stammered, a furious blush rising in his pale cheeks, "I'm…I'm really sorry. I thought you were-" he cut himself off as he pressed the heel of his right palm into his eye. "My eyes really hurt though."

"I believe there are still eye-drops in the medicine cabinet from Taira's short-lived affair with contact lenses."

"What?" Ryuusuke grinned in spite of himself, "I thought he only needed them for reading."

"Oh he does, but he tried these red ones for Halloween. It didn't work too well. His eyes totally rejected them."

"Well then, I think I'll track these eye drops down," Ryuusuke told him, picking his jeans and t-shirt up off the floor before retreating into the washroom.

Saku rubbed his face tiredly as he tried not to make a deal of what had just happened. "It was just an accident. _You_ didn't even know where you were at first…" became his whispered mantra as he walked into the living room in search of his own shirts and jeans.

The ensuing day was essentially one that produced itself in vain. Aside from phone calls from Taira's parents, dealing with funeral arrangements and Taira's belongings, Saku was going to keep the apartment if he could, because he already lived there and he could pay the full rent himself easily with his part-time carpentry job he had just acquired. The thing that made Saku want to keep it so badly was the fact that it reminded him of Taira; In fact, every room he stepped in screamed Taira. Although the very thought made an uncomfortable lump form in the base of his throat, Saku knew he'd regret it immensely if he sold the place. The apartment also made him feel safe, just as Taira had.

Tears welled in Saku's eyes as he realized his personification of stability and security had been ripped out of his life. Saku frustratedly wiped the stubborn tears on the back of his hand until his hand grew so wet that the attempt to continue was futile. Why did this only seem to get worse? He hated it. He absolutely hated it: the dull ache in his heart, his stomach. It seemed to haunt him constantly.

Ryuusuke looked over to the kitchen from his seat on the couch; he was trying to forget how to think by numbing his mind with television.

"Are you ok?" Ryuusuke asked concerned. Which was almost comical because _Saku _was_ not_ okay, and neither was Ryuusuke. Saku was supposed to be the one asking that question. Ryuusuke had lost the love of his life; Saku had only lost a brother... But wasn't that one in the same? Saku's head spun while his world became wet, hot and blurry. He felt Ryuusuke's arms encircle him, but didn't have room left for anymore emotion to feel whenever Ryuusuke got too close. All he felt was a sense of extreme loss, which was stupid because he should have felt this yesterday. Goddamn his retarded emotions. He buried his head into Ryuusuke's shoulder and the only words that he could drudge up to explain his actions or the storm inside of him were almost incomprehensible sobs.

"I miss him. I miss him so much…" Those words didn't lessen what he was experiencing and they felt so very small to what was going on inside of him. Saku clenched his fists on the fabric of Ryuusuke's shirt. Ryuusuke responded by running his fingers through Saku's coarse, long hair, along his scalp, murmuring words of comfort as a mother would to her chid distraught with a nightmare.

When Saku recollected himself and relinquished his death grip on Ryuusuke, he apologized.

"If you actually are sorry, I'm offended," Ryuusuke told him.

"Why?" Saku asked confusedly, almost angrily. He wasn't in the mood to be jerked around.

"I like to try and help people close to me, and if you're sorry that I comforted you than I think I have the obligation to be offended." A mischievous glint was buried under the hurt and seriousness in Ryuusuke's eyes.

"Wise-ass," Saku told him with no real heat. He could tell Ryuusuke was just sick of the sorrow he was experiencing as he was. Saku didn't want to equate Taira with unbearable sadness; He wanted to equate him with Beck, with music, with a sense of security.

"C'mon, let's go ice our brains with TV," Ryuusuke offered. Saku couldn't agree more.

____

Taira's parents didn't want a visitation; their perspective was identical to Ryuusuke's in that matter. Taira wasn't with them anymore, so to keep looking at his body would only serve as more self-inflicted pain. They wanted to get his body in the ground as a show of respect, but really, everything was pointless to Ryuusuke. There were a lot of people he didn't know at the funeral service, which didn't surprise him. His own parents came to the service and it comforted Ryuusuke to see his mother. Eddie also made an appearance, showing his support for his childhood friend and Ryuusuke appreciated, but couldn't help but feel a little awkward around the lead guitarist of Dying Breed due to obvious circumstances.

Ryuusuke kept it together for the most part, even when Koyuki, Saku, Chiba Taira's step-father, Saitou and he were carrying Taira's casket to the grave. That was Chiba's breaking point, and Ryuusuke almost lost it when he heard the singer in front of him sob. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ryuusuke had to admit he found it interesting that different people were set off by different things. Of course, he'd always known that somehow, but the fact that something as small as an action or word could trigger such powerful emotions was still captivating at the moment. Ryuusuke was totally blind-sided by his emotions when at last came the moment when Taira was being lowered into the cold, dark ground.

Overwhelming despair captured him as he realized that this was it. That this was the moment they'd been leading up to; the last goodbye. And it wasn't even a good one, for how could it be when Taira – with the guarded sense of longing that was always within his dark brown eyes when they parted – wasn't even present? He was gone. Long gone already and he hadn't even gotten to say goodbye. Anguished tears were only too eager to come out once again. But Ryuusuke as far past the point of caring.

He surrendered and almost willingly accepted the fact that the uninvited yet not totally unwelcome tears would keep visiting, knocking impatiently on the doors of his soul. All at once everything became so utterly bleak that the only person in Ryuusuke's life who would be able to find true beauty in it was being lowered slowly into the semi-frozen November earth.

"Taira," he murmured, so beneath his breath that only the people directly at his sides, Koyuki and Saku, could possibly hear him. "Oh Taira, Taira, Taira…" he continued in one, forsaken tone, head bowed. One by one, people began to leave; the funeral was now officially over. It was already 5:30pm and Chiba was gently, but firmly, tugging on Ryuusuke's elbow.

"C'mon man. We have to go. We can come back first thing tomorrow if you want."

But Ryuusuke didn't want to. He didn't want anything, for the only thing that he'd ever wanted had been unexpectedly ripped from his grasp, while all he could do was cry. But the crying did nothing. He felt as if he were a balloon with a leak, unable to just deflate in just one quick go. He wondered vaguely, as he walked to the waiting car, if he would always feel this way. He was sure a part of him would and that almost made him feel complete somehow. Complete in his incompleteness.

As he gazed out the window at the dull, darkening sky, he heard Koyuki tentatively ask, "What's going to happen to Beck?" in a sad voice.

Ryuusuke didn't abandon his gaze on the bleak sky but shook his head all the same. "I don't know right now. I really don't know." Inwardly he sighed, for, if this was the first step, the funeral that is, then he could foresee many more before they reached a semblance of what could be Beck. He also knew that Chiba, Saku and Koyuki all had what it took to reach that point.

'_With or without you Taira'_ he though grudgingly, accepting yet determined, '_With or without you'. _


End file.
